God is Love: honesty

Showing posts with label honesty. Show all posts

Monday, September 30, 2024

Devotionals for the Heart: Why we need to be honest in our relationships

The Necessity of Vulnerability
A devotional by Kayla de Jong

“Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love.”

—1 John 4:18 (NLT)

How does it feel when someone opens up to you?

I am usually flattered that the other person not only trusts me but also finds comfort in my listening. God creates all kinds of personalities. Some of us are more naturally reserved and have to make an effort to achieve intimacy in relationships. For me personally, it boils down to trust issues, which are rooted in fear. But, as the opening verse states, perfect love casts out fear.

Let me explain what this devotional is and what it is not: This devotional is for people like me who have struggled similarly and are striving for deeper, God-honoring connections. This is not a devotional on trust or even handling rejection, nor is it a secret recipe for perfect relationships that are free of hurt feelings.

I want to encourage you to be vulnerable in a way that strengthens the bonds of your relationships, including with God. God desires for us to be honest with ourselves, with Him, and with others. Being honest about how we feel, even if we are embarrassed to admit what we feel, can be a form of honesty. This is the first step in working through emotions or thought patterns that could lead to sinful behavior. Being honest about thoughts and feelings does not indicate that our thoughts and feelings are the truth. In fact, the opposite is often the case. When voicing our feelings to a God-fearing person who we can trust, it becomes easier to identify the lies of the enemy.

Please let me make something clear before continuing: I am not advocating that we put ourselves in situations that can be dangerous in an effort to be open with another person. And I’m certainly not saying that in order to initiate an intimate relationship we must start spewing all the traumas we have ever been through, hoping the other person might find something relatable in our monologues.

Likewise, being vulnerable with someone does leave room for rejection. Other people might not understand why you are talking about things so openly. It might intimidate them. That being said, do not focus on any perceived rejection you face. This causes rifts in relationships, and if you are like me, it will cause you to clam up and become cold and aloof. Don’t get me wrong, I understand how challenging it is to put these words into practice. I think it takes equal parts boldness and humility to be vulnerable.

Isn’t it comforting though when another Christian, especially one you have viewed as being very nearly sinless, confesses to you the struggles they have walked through? Aren’t you so thankful that person was vulnerable with you and allowed you to learn from their mistake or misfortune? Maybe you are thankful for their honesty, and it has made the bond between the two of you closer.

I’m going to be honest and vulnerable when I say that while drafting this devotional, I was tempted to avoid writing about my weaknesses and instead attack the sins I see in others as an indirect way of venting my frustrations with some relationships I have right now. As I admit this, I can scarcely believe how spiritually immature I sound! I’m glad God convicted me to write the devotional I would need. In other words, I am preaching to myself right now.

I could go on, but I think I have said enough to get you thinking about how you can put this message I’ve written to practical use. Is there someone in your life who you know God is calling you to start or repair a relationship with? Would it help if you began by being honest with that person? I do not mean confronting them about whatever wrong they may have done (that is a topic for another time). I am talking about asking God to help you remove the walls that you have allowed to guard you from being close to someone or to keep them out.

If even a small part of you identifies with what I have said and you want to change, start by praying the prayer below. And if the Holy Spirit guides you to pray about specific relationship struggles, heed that guidance. God has designed us for relationships, and He knows we are sinful, and we struggle to not let past hurts influence our decisions. God wants to help you form thriving relationships, and change starts by acknowledging you cannot change apart from God’s help.

Let’s Pray: God, I have allowed walls to be put up around my heart so that I am not close to (fill in name). I do not want to be cold and distant in my relationships. I want to shine the light of Your love. Help me to be vulnerable, open, and honest in a way that glorifies You. Let me live in love, not fear of rejection. In Jesus’s Name I pray. Amen.

Song of Reflection: “If We're Honest” by Francesca Battistelli. Listen to it here.

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Author Bio:

Hi! I’m Kayla de Jong!

I’ve lived in Indiana my whole life and was blessed to have been raised in a Christian household. I have an associate degree in library science and have worked in various libraries for over six years. I love reading and writing!

I have mostly written poems, some of which were published in the compiled works of a local writers guild. I am in the middle of seeking a new career. I would love to be an author, artist, or journalist. But most of all, I would love to be a stay-at-home mom someday.

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Connect with Kayla:
E-mail: kaylagmcdaniel@gmail.com

Friday, April 17, 2020

Devotionals for the Heart: Safety

God is our safe place
A devotional by Alexis Newlin

“The name of the Lord is a strong tower: the righteous run to it and is safe.”

– Proverbs 18:10 (ESV)

Do you have a need to feel safe in your life? Is that need preventing you from taking steps of faith in your Christian walk with God? Here’s how I handled one aspect of this need to feel safety in my life.

I struggle very much with the fear of being hurt by another person, whether it be a friend, spouse, sibling, stranger…I do not want to get hurt. Because of this fear, I often try to put myself in situations where I won’t experience hurt and I won’t try to connect with a person unless I can feel completely safe with them.

I told one of my friends this while out to lunch one day and she told me these wise words:

“That’s a lot to put on a person – feeling safe with them. It’s an impossible request to meet. Only God is your safety. No one on this earth can fulfill that. You may need to repent to God for this, for seeking safety in someone other than Him.”

Bam! My eyes were opened. SAFE. That’s it! Not feeling safe was the root of my fear. If I didn’t feel safe, there were a lot of things that I would refuse to do outside of this situation.

I had to feel safe and secure before taking action in many areas of my life. So after realizing this, I took this new information to God. We went on a journey to find out where my holding on to safety higher than anything else came from. This is what we found:

As a child, my environment was unpredictable. It was not always safe. As I grew older, I vowed to always have a safe place and have those around me that I considered safe. It became an idol. What I called being cautious was actually me being fearful. Yikes.

God then had me look up the definition for safe from Merriam-Webster Dictionary. Here is what I found to define the word safe: free from harm or risk : UNHURT 2a: secure from threat of danger, harm, or loss 3: affording safety or security from danger, risk, or difficulty 5a: not threatening danger : HARMLESS 6a: not likely to take risks : CAUTIOUS b: TRUSTWORTHY, RELIABLE.

I look at this definition and to me, being safe on this earth almost seems impossible. We encounter things and people that could harm us every single day. There is no way that we can go one day without encountering some sort of physical, emotional or mental harm.

I was honest with God, telling Him: “I am trying to grasp the concept that you God, are my safe place. That you will protect me and keep me from harm. Many painful things happen every single day. How are you keeping me safe if I get hurt?”

It is so beautiful when God answers.

This is what He said to me and it redefined my definition of safe:

I use your pain to grow you. The injuries you encounter help you grow stronger and stronger each and every day. How do you grow without trial?

A flower must work in order to bloom. It must break its way out of the seed, and then plow through the soil to get to the water and sunlight it needs just to bloom. When it blooms, behold, there is all manner of things that can and will destroy the flower – too much rain, not enough water, too hot, too cold – yet it still blooms.

You are to bloom no matter what you encounter. When trials come, when you feel afraid or face danger, when you feel unsafe then I, God, will be there. I will be a safe place. I will stand beside you; hold you up so you do not fall.

Despite what comes, I am your safe place.

This sent me on a quest to study everything the Lord says about His safety and protection. I found so much. I keep finding verses that show how He has protected us and continues to protect us. Words like, refuge, stronghold, strong tower, shield, shelter, secure and fortress describe our Father and the beautiful things that He does for us if we run to Him. Some of my favorite verses from this study are:

Proverbs 18:10 says, “The name of the Lord is a strong tower: the righteous run to it and is safe.”

Proverbs 30:5 says, “Every word of God proves true; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him.”

Psalm 28:7 says, “The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoices, and with my song, I will praise him.”

This has been such a beautiful journey to take with the Lord and a journey that I am still walking. It was hard to admit that at times I do not feel safe with the Lord. But, had I not admitted it, I would still have this barrier between God and me. God will do anything to let us know how much He loves us and cares for us.

Although there are times I don’t feel it, it gives me comfort to know that His protection and love for us is splashed all over the pages of His word. God is, and will always be, my safe place.

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Author Bio:

Alexis is a 36-year-old lover of Jesus, loose leaf tea, roller coasters, writing stories and going on adventures. Originally from Marietta, GA, Alexis now resides in Fresno, CA.

You can always find Alexis outdoors enjoying a walk in her neighborhood, scoping out the newest food truck, hanging out with friends or planning her next trip.

Her church, The Revival Center, and family mean the world to her. They have supported her through the loss of her mother and her own cancer diagnosis.

Alexis enjoys encouraging others by reminding them not to look at what they see, but to always look to God, who is working in the unseen.

Alexis currently writes for several online ministries and launched her first podcast – The Brave Podcast – in January 2020.

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Connect with Alexis:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/apeachincali/
Facebook: www.facebook.com/apeachincali
Podcast: http://thebravepodcast.buzzsprout.com
Website: www.apeachincali.com

Tuesday, January 14, 2020

Celebrate Lit blog tour for It'll Be Okay (book) by Sheryl Giesbrecht Turner

Welcome to my blog's stop on the Celebrate Lit blog tour for It'll Be Okay (book) by Sheryl Giesbrecht Turner!

Read my review of Sheryl's book below and enjoy your time with her today!

Remember to enter the fun giveaway contest toward the end of this blog post.

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About the Book:

Is it okay for Christians to doubt?

When we don’t get answers or see God’s guiding hand, it’s hard to keep praying or walking forward in faith. Difficult times often cloud our perspective. Does God see me? Does he hear me? Does he care? Many Christians confuse doubt with unbelief and are afraid to admit those fears, but God is not threatened by our questions, and doubt does not negate our faith.

Our doubts express a yearning to be sure of what—and who—we trust. When our questions are answered by trust, faith is fed and our doubts transform into deeper belief that pushes us toward a decision.

· When we address doubt head-on, faith can grow.

· God has a plan in the good and bad that life brings.

· God can heal our wounds and turn our past mistakes around.

Join nationally-known Bible teacher Sheryl Giesbreacht Turner as she guides you toward a deeper understanding of the role doubt plays in your spiritual growth—and how learning to ‘doubt your doubts’ enables faith to prevail.

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About the Author:

Sheryl Giesbrecht Turner holds a bachelor of arts, a master’s in ministry, and a doctorate of theology.

Her television and radio show, “Transformed Through Truth,” is nationally and internationally syndicated; it’s seen and heard daily by millions of viewers and listeners on audio, internet, Roku, and YouTube networks across the United States and through The Holy Spirit Broadcasting Network worldwide.

Sheryl is the author of three books and hundreds of columns, articles, and devotions.

As a Lead Like Jesus facilitator, a blogger, and a missionary with Freedom in Christ Ministries she has personally equipped hundreds and facilitated the training of thousands of national and international leaders.

She and her husband, Dr. Jim Turner, live in California’s Central Valley where she enjoys running 5K races with her eighty-five-year-old mother.

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Author's Note:

I’ve always been the one to ask the questions.

As a kindergartener, I embarrassed my mother when I inquired, “Where did I come from?”

Years passed, as a teenager, I made unhealthy life choices, experimented with alcohol and street drugs, and wondered, “What am I here for?”

As a young adult, in Bible College; I asked God to take control of my life and questioned, “What’s my purpose?”

Maybe you, too, have had or now have questions? These concerns may even keep you up at night? Doubting ourselves or God may be criticized as a lack of faith. I disagree. Doubt is the in between. Doubts need to be addressed. If doubts are not considered, they will rot our faith from the inside out. When we doubt, we are able to be honest with ourselves and God. We should not be afraid to doubt.

As a delivered drug addict, stage four cancer survivor, and former widow, I’ve faced many types of situations which caused me to question God’s love, goodness and compassion. As I have gone to His word, I’ve discovered He hasn’t changed, His word continues to speak and revives my faith, taking me to a deeper level every single time.

I am reminded of this in Lamentations 3:21-24 (NIV) Yet this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.”

Thank you so much for being part of this blog tour. I am excited about what God is going to do with His truth in us as we bring our questions to the Answer – Jesus.

Love and prayers,

Sheryl Giesbrecht Turner

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My Review:

One question sets the course for this book. The author asks the reader, "Is it okay for Christians to doubt?"

From there, the book unravels like a ball of yarn as the author peels back the layers of that question like an onion until she reaches its core and at the core is the answer to everything: Jesus (Christ).

I truly enjoyed reading this book! The author's transparency and heart for Jesus could be felt throughout the book. She's not afraid to share the good, the bad and the ugly from her personal life experiences.

Sheryl (the author) writes in a way that encourages the reader and inspires their heart to keep trusting in God through it all. I like how she tells the reader that doubt can be a healthy part of your faith journey with God. I like how she reminds the reader that God is not afraid of your doubting Him and He can handle your honesty. I like how she encourages the reader to go to God with your doubts and trust Him to give you the answers that you need.

I liked the cover of this book. I think that the picture of a person walking through dense fog was appropriate, as was the brightness of the light in the lighthouse that stood in the background. I found it to be metaphorical because it's true to real life! Oftentimes, as believers in God, we feel like we're trying to navigate our way through a spiritual fog that's so dense that we can barely see what's in front of us or around the corner. But all the darkness and fog in the world cannot prevent God's Guiding Light of Love from breaking through (enter the bright yellow light from the lighthouse). I love it!

I also appreciated how the author says, "Our doubts express a yearning to be sure of what—and who—we trust. When our questions are answered by trust, faith is fed and our doubts transform into deeper belief that pushes us toward a decision."

What a powerful truth and life lesson that we can all benefit from learning!

The author taught me a few things that I did not know, mainly this point: "When we address doubt head-on, faith can grow." I didn't know that because prior to reading this book, I always had the impression that doubting God is not a good thing and it should be avoided at all costs. I was taught to praise Jesus through every storm and never question God. But this book reminded me that God is not afraid of our doubts and He can handle our honesty!

It also reminded me of the Bible story that church people call "Doubting Thomas." He was one of Jesus Christ's followers and he didn't believe that Christ had risen from the dead, saying that he wouldn't believe it until he could see it (see Jesus in person and see the marks on His hands and feet from the nails that the Roman soldiers used to fasten Him to the cross). So what did Jesus do? He showed up! He appeared to Thomas and instructed him to touch His hands and see the scars from the nails. He also ate a piece of fish to prove that He was human and alive. And finally, Thomas believed!

I like how even to this day, Jesus Christ is patient will all of us because He wants us all to be saved. If we doubt, He's okay with it but He doesn't want us to doubt him forever. So He shows up in so many different and wonderful ways to prove that He's real, He loves us and that He has good plans for the stories of our life (Jeremiah 29:11).

Finally, Sheryl Giesbreacht Turner's career as a Bible teacher truly shines through her storytelling in this book. I was captivated and learned a lot of life lessons from her teaching!

And like any good teacher, she didn't leave me as the reader without writing about how I can apply these principles discussed in her book to my every day life. It was a really worthwhile read, well deserving of five stars!

*Celebrate Lit provided me (Alexis A. Goring) with a complimentary copy of It'll Be Okay (book). My opinions in this book review are my own.

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Giveaway:

To celebrate her tour, Sheryl is giving away the grand prize of a $50 Amazon gift card!