
The Necessary Struggle
A devotional by Heidi Lewis-Ivey
“But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you.”
—1 Peter 5:10 (KJV)
Nobody tells you that growth feels like breaking.
I know this because I had to eulogize my aunt, my hero, the cornerstone of my family, while I was still figuring out how to breathe without her. I stood up and found words for everyone else’s grief while mine was still raw, still unprocessed, still too big to name.
They show you the before and after, the transformation, the glow-up, the redemption and skip over the part where you were on the bathroom floor at 2:00 in the morning wondering if you will ever feel like yourself again. They skip the months when you couldn’t tell if you were healing or just getting better at pretending. I’ve been thinking about that gap a lot. The space between who you were and who you’re becoming. Nobody warns you how long you live in that space. How uncomfortable it is to exist in the middle of your own story, without knowing how it ends.
Here’s what I’ve come to believe: The struggle isn’t a detour. It is the road.
We’ve been sold this idea that difficulty is a sign something has gone wrong. That if you’re suffering, you must have made a wrong turn or picked the wrong career, the wrong relationship, the wrong path. So, we spend enormous energy trying to outrun the hard parts, or numb them, or at least make them look more bearable on the outside.
But what if the friction is the point?
Muscles don’t grow without resistance. A person doesn’t either. Not real growth, not the kind that changes how you see yourself, how you move through the world, what you’re willing to tolerate and what you’re not. That kind of change requires pressure. It requires uncomfortable confrontation with your own limits.
The struggle isn’t proof you’re failing. It’s often proof you’re in the middle of something that matters. I’m not romanticizing suffering. Let me be clear about that.
There is suffering that serves nothing and grinds you down without teaching you anything, that you should walk away from if you can. Not all pain is meaningful. Not all hard things are worth enduring. Some struggles are just bad situations you need to exit. But there’s another kind. The kind that comes from choosing something difficult on purpose and starting over, telling the truth, walking away from what felt safe, asking for help when your whole identity was built around not needing it. That struggle is different. That struggle has direction to it.
The question I’ve learned to ask myself is: Is this hard because I’m growing, or hard because I’m ignoring something? The answer changes everything about what to do next. The hardest part of my own necessary struggles hasn’t been the struggle itself. It’s been resisting the urge to rush through it.
We want resolution. We want to arrive. We want to be the person who has already figured it out, not the person still in the middle of figuring it out. So, we skip steps. We declare ourselves healed before we are. We perform the after before we’ve lived through the during.
And then we wonder why the same patterns keep showing up. There’s no shortcut through the necessary struggles. You have to let them take the time they take. You have to sit in the discomfort long enough to learn what it’s trying to teach you.
That’s the part no one wants to hear. But it’s the only part that’s true.
There’s a promise in 1 Peter 5:10 that I keep coming back to. It says, “after you have suffered a while, God himself will make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you.”
Four words. Four distinct things. And I don’t think they’re accidental. Let’s examine each word:
Perfect means not flawless, but complete. Whole in ways you weren’t before. The broken places filled in.
Stablish means established. Rooted. Fixed to something that holds even when the ground moves.
Strengthen means not just surviving, but capable. Able to carry what you couldn’t carry before.
Settle means that deep, quiet thing. The internal stillness that does not depend on your circumstances being calm.
Notice what all four of these words have in common: None of them are possible without the suffering that precedes them. You can’t be settled without having first been shaken. You can’t be strengthened without having first been stretched. The struggle isn’t the enemy of the outcome; it’s the condition for it.
If you’re in the midst of something hard right now that you chose or that chose you, I want you to know something: The fact that it’s hard doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. The fact that you’re not okay yet doesn’t mean you won’t be. The fact that you can’t see the other side doesn’t mean there isn’t one.
Remember, God promises to restore you “after you have suffered a while”. Not forever. A while. There is a duration to this, even when it doesn’t feel like it. And on the other side of it not despite the suffering but through it you will be more complete, more rooted, more capable, more settled than you have ever been.
Some of the most important becoming of your life is happening in the moments that feel the least like progress. Keep going. Not because it will get easier immediately. But because you are, right now, being built into something stronger than what you were whether it feels like it or not.
The struggle is necessary. So are you.
Let’s Pray:
Lord,
I come on behalf of everyone reading this who is in the middle of something hard—the ones holding it together on the outside while quietly falling apart within. The ones who have cried in the car, in the shower, in the silence of 3:00 in the morning when the rest of the world is asleep. The ones who are grieving for what they lost, what they never had, or who they used to be.
Meet them here. Not on the other side of this, but here. In the thick of it. In the mess and the confusion and the exhaustion of a struggle that has gone on longer than they thought they could bear.
Remind them that You are not absent from their pain. That You are not waiting for them to get it together before You show up. That You are close to the brokenhearted—not close to the healed, not close to the finished, but close to the broken, right now, exactly as they are.
And Lord, let Your promise in 1 Peter 5:10 be real to them today—that this suffering has a while on it. That is not permanent. That on the other side of this, You will make them perfect, stablish, strengthen, and settle them in ways they cannot yet imagine.
Do what only You can do in what they are walking through. Make them whole where they are broken. Root them where they have been shaken. Strengthen them where they have been emptied. Settle them where there has only been chaos.
And until that day, give them just enough grace for today. Just enough strength for this moment. Just enough hope to keep going. They are not forgotten. They are not forsaken. They are being formed.
In Jesus’s name I pray. Amen.
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Song of Reflection #1: “Wait on You” by Elevation Worship & Maverick City. Listen to it here.
Song of Reflection #2: “Open My Heart” by Yolanda Adams. Listen to it here.
Song of Reflection #3: “I Won’t Complain” by Le'Andria Johnson. Listen to it here.
Song of Reflection #4: “God Restores” by Dynamic Praise. Listen to it here.
Song of Reflection #5: “Meet Me There” by Lydia Laird. Listen to it here.
Song of Reflection #6: “Eye of the Storm” by Ryan Stevenson (feat. GabeReal). Listen to it here.
Song of Reflection #7: “Jesus Walks with Me” by Be Still Studios. Listen to it here.
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Author Bio:
Heidi Lewis-Ivey is an affirmed prophet and an internationally acclaimed speaker.
She impacts audiences with her authenticity and bold style of delivery. She has had the opportunity to minister in Trinidad, St. Thomas USVI, Manchester and Liverpool (England).
Heidi is an award-winning and bestselling author. She is the author of Can I Rest Awhile? and Black Girl Cry: What Black Women Need to Know to Amplify Their Voices. She is a co-author in Soulful Prayers (Volume 1 and Volume 2) and Soulful Affirmations. Heidi is the convener of the Encountering the Courts of God movement and the founder of Visions International, a training ground for five-fold ministry gifts.
She holds a Master of Business Administration in Organizational Leadership from Norwich University and a Bachelor of Science in Management from Boston University. Heidi is the CEO of Nael & Associates Inc and franchise owner of Patrice & Associates recruiting firm. She is a member of the Pentimenti Women Writers Group, a former mentor with Year Up, former board member for Friends of Young Achievers, and a Diversity Equity and Inclusion Strategist.
Heidi is the proud aunt/great aunt of 14 nieces and nephews and two bonus nieces. They are her joy. The older nephews have become her protectors.
Heidi is an NFL football fan. As a child, she taught herself the game. In 2017 she won her NFL.com fantasy football league. Heidi is an avid reader (Audible listener) of romance novels, a lover of purses and handbags, and a tea snob who believes bling is always appropriate.
She lives in Boston, MA.
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Connect with Heidi:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iamheidi01
LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/heidi-lewis-ivey











