Devotionals for the Heart: How to know if you've truly forgiven someone

Have You Truly Forgiven?
A devotional by Joyce M. Averils

“And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”—Ephesians 4:32 (NKJV)

I truly thought I had forgiven my friend.

We had been close for over 20 years. Even though we lived in different states, we stayed connected with long phone calls, encouraging texts, and making it a point to see each other at least once a year.

But everything changed a little over a year ago. She shared a personal confidence of mine with several people—something I had trusted her to keep private. When I confronted her, trying to express how deeply betrayed I felt, she brushed it off. “It wasn’t a big deal,” she said. “You just need to get over it.”

But it was a big deal to me. And in that moment, our friendship dissolved. We stopped speaking. So, I did what I knew to do—I prayed. I asked the Lord to help me forgive her. I believed He had answered my prayer. I thought I had moved on. Then one day, I heard about a wonderful blessing she had received. And instead of feeling happy for her, my first thought was, “How could she get that after what she did to me?”

Immediately, the Holy Spirit convicted me. If I had truly forgiven her, why was I keeping score? Why was I weighing her worthiness? Who am I to decide whether someone deserves God’s goodness? The truth hit hard: I was still holding on to unforgiveness. And that is sin. Maybe you’ve been there too.

Have you ever replayed a confrontation in your mind, imagining how you’d say things differently, setting the record straight? Have you secretly felt satisfied when something negative happened to the person who wronged you? Or, like me, have you been shocked when God blessed them, wondering how He could pour out His favor on someone who hurt you?

These are the quiet, subtle signs that we haven’t extended true forgiveness. And Jesus Christ made it clear: forgiveness isn’t optional. Why do we forgive? Because God forgave us. The Bible says in Ephesians 4:32 (NIV), “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” None of us stand righteous before God apart from His grace. We have been forgiven more than we could ever repay. And just as God extended mercy to us, He calls us to extend it to others. Remember: Forgiving everyone is not a suggestion, it is a command from God.

Let’s read what Jesus says about forgiveness in Matthew 18:21-22 (ESV): Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.”

Peter wanted a limit – a boundary where he could say, “That’s enough.” But Jesus made it clear: true forgiveness isn’t about keeping count. It’s about a heart of grace.

It’s also important to remember that carrying unforgiveness has consequences. Matthew 6:14-15 (ESV) reminds us that, “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”

This is one of the hardest truths in Scripture. Unforgiveness doesn’t just affect our relationships with others. It also affects our relationship with God. Holding onto bitterness blocks us from experiencing the fullness of His grace.

I’d like to address the misconception about forgiveness. Too often, we wait for an apology. We want the person who hurt us to acknowledge their wrongdoing, to understand the pain they caused, and to ask for forgiveness. But here’s the thing: God forgave us without demanding anything in return. That’s what grace is all about. Romans 5:8 (NIV) says, “But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Before we repented. Before we asked for mercy. Before we could even see the depth of our sin, He forgave us.

So, if we require something from the person who wronged us before we forgive them, then we don’t really understand grace. But how do we truly forgive?

First, acknowledge the hurt. Forgiveness doesn’t mean pretending it didn’t happen. Jesus never minimized sin. He acknowledged it but chose to forgive anyway.

Next, surrender it to God. Let go of the desire to see justice done your way. Trust that God is the ultimate judge.

Then, pray for them. It’s hard to stay bitter toward someone when you’re genuinely praying for their well-being. Jesus told us to pray for our enemies because prayer changes our hearts, too.

Also, release the scorecard. Stop keeping track of offenses. If you’re still tallying the wrongs, you haven’t truly let them go.

Finally, remember who you are. You are a recipient of God’s mercy. And if you’ve been forgiven, how can you not extend the same grace?

Forgiveness is not about excusing wrong behavior. It’s not about letting people continue to hurt you. But it is about freeing your heart from the weight of bitterness. That’s what the Holy Spirit reminded me about my friend. So, I confessed my sin with a heart of real forgiveness this time. My friend and I are still not besties like before, but we’re speaking again. And I can honestly say that I have forgiven her because Jesus died for her just as much as He died for me.

If you’re still holding on to unforgiveness for someone who hurt you, release it. Let it go. Walk in freedom because when we truly forgive everyone, we reflect the heart of Christ.

Let’s Pray: Lord, You have forgiven me for so much. Who am I not to forgive others? Help me to forgive those who hurt me. Help me to extend the same grace to them that You have extended to me. In the name of Jesus, I pray. Amen.

Song of Reflection: “Forgiveness” by Matthew West. Listen to it here.

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Author Bio:

Joyce M. Averils is an attorney by education and a retired judge who currently works as a Life Purpose and Business Empowerment Coach. 

She attended the University of South Carolina where she received her Bachelor of Arts degree in Humanities and Social Sciences, with a concentration in Political Science in May 1981. Upon graduation from the University, she attended The Ohio State University’s Moritz College of Law, where she graduated with a Juris Doctor degree in June 1984. Joyce was admitted to the Georgia Bar in November of 1984.

During her legal career, she served as the legal advisor for an episode of the American television program “Designing Women”. She also successfully argued a zoning case before the Georgia Supreme Court.

Today, she is the founder of Averils Omnimedia, LLC. It includes Her RICH Coaching where she helps high-achieving women of faith create a purpose-aligned life and business through coaching programs, workshops, and retreats. She recently launched 26th & Alden Paper Design House which will release its first paper product in early 2025.

Joyce believes that God created women to accomplish the extraordinary by living their purpose, calling, and assignment. He has chosen every woman to fulfill a calling that is hers alone. And if she does not answer that calling, then that work will never be done. Joyce knows that there are people who are waiting for help that only God can give and only God can use His people to help each other. Joyce believes that we are called by God to help each other. She wants to answer that call and inspire others to answer it too so we can be of service to God.

Her life verse is John 17:4 (NIV), “I have brought you glory on earth by finishing the work you gave me to do.” In addition to being an entrepreneur, Joyce currently serves as the Associate Teaching Director for the Community Bible Study International class in Georgetown, SC.

Joyce makes her home on the coast of South Carolina.

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Connect with Joyce:
Website: www.herrichlife.com
Facebook Ministry: www.facebook.com/groups/thepurposealignedwoman
Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/coachlabforaspiringchristianwomencoaches
Facebook: www.facebook.com/@HerRichLife
Instagram: www.instagram.com/herrichlife
Email address: joyce@herrichlife.com

Devotionals for the Heart: God gives us each a unique gift to use for Him

Celebrating the Gifts that Fit Us Perfectly
A devotional by Sarah Cole

“Do not neglect your gift, which was given you through prophecy when the body of elders laid their hands on you. Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them so everyone may see your progress.”—1 Timothy 4:14-15 (NIV)

I'm as organized as a pile of Legos.

By the end of the day, I've left a trail of scattered papers and belongings everywhere with no rhyme or reason or place to call home. My messiness often overwhelms me, yet it doesn’t define me because I've embraced God’s unconditional love and learned to focus on the gifts I was born with.

My creativity started developing the day I opened my first box of crayons. For days, I stayed in my room, nurturing my inner Picasso. Then, I started designing cartoon characters and greeting cards for my mother. Today, my upstairs loft is my escape from the chaos, where I channel my creativity into a greeting card that hits a sweet spot in my soul.

I sometimes envy women whose homes are tidy and organized. But resisting the way God made me is futile. Given the choice, I’d much rather spend an afternoon sketching than color code my sock drawer or label my pantry inventory. Instead of trying to fit into someone else’s mold, I've learned to celebrate the gifts that fit me perfectly, giving me a deep sense of joy and contentment.

When we compare ourselves to what we see others excelling at, we forget that our uniqueness flows out of us as naturally as our breath and is God's paintbrush on life's canvas. God has a purpose for everything He created, and we honor Him by being true to how He designed us.

The Apostle Paul's words to Timothy are a powerful reminder. Paul encouraged Timothy to devote himself to his ministry, trusting that God would accomplish great things through him. In Greek, the word for gift is charismata, which refers to the various spiritual gifts within Timothy and all believers. The elders who laid hands on him recognized God's call on his life, a testament to the importance of trusting in God's plan and the hope it brings.

Instead of chasing dreams that don’t fit us, like Timothy, we should embrace our calling and use it to glorify God. The world is better when we allow the Holy Spirit to inspire our efforts, and we accomplish more than we dare imagine.

Maybe, like me, you aren't the most organized woman on the block, but you were born to do something unforgettable. What better way to honor God than by embracing what comes naturally instead of wasting energy on what doesn't? God loves you too much to keep you from fulfilling your purpose. What great news!

Let's Pray:

Father God,

I'm in awe of how you designed this world, but sometimes, I doubt how you created me. When my weaknesses discourage me, comparing myself to others is easy. Remind me that You designed me for a specific purpose only I can accomplish. When You created me, You broke the mold, so instead of neglecting my gifts, I give You glory by using them daily. In Jesus's Name I pray. Amen.

Song of Reflection: “Many Gifts, One Spirit” by Allen Pote. Listen to it here.

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Author Bio:

Sarah Cole’s interest in writing began in grade school when her poem was published in the local paper. Since then, she has written for her college newspaper and two community newspapers where she wrote restaurant reviews and articles for their ‘best of’ spread. 

Her experience as an administrator in the marketing field gave her the opportunity to write ads for a local business journal.

After a 20-year detour and a three-year season of adversity, God reignited her passion to write. Two divine appointments later, the short story she wrote about her father appeared in the St. Paul Almanac, and a short story about her cocker spaniel Gigi was published in Mysterious Ways by Guideposts. She believes her adversity was worth the lessons God taught her.

Sarah's devotionals have been published in David C. Cook’s The Quiet Hour and Devotions, The Secret Place by Judson Press, and Pray a Word a Day by Guideposts. Her short story will be featured in an upcoming book, Too Amazing For Coincidence, also to be published by Guideposts. To this day, Sarah smiles, pinches herself and gives God all the glory.

When she's not writing, she's enjoying her hobbies that include dog sitting, watching cooking shows and taking day trips.

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Connect with Sarah:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/smittyc65
Twitter: https://twitter.com/@SarahCo45835279
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sarah.cole.52

Devotionals for the Heart: Making a Joyful Noise drives away negativity

Make a Joyful Noise
A devotional by Alexis Newlin

“Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth! Serve the Lord with gladness! Come into his presence with singing!” – Psalm 100:1-2 (ESV)

Have you ever been slammed with worries and negative thoughts?

I have.

Sometimes I get woken up in the middle of the night, thoughts of my ever growing to do list keeping me from rest. In the mornings before I dive into my quiet time, negative thoughts attack as I prepare to sit down with the Lord.

Sometimes I forget that I am in a battle. The enemy wants to destroy us and to do that, he’ll go after us in our minds. Those negative thoughts and emotions can be so strong that they cause us to forget that we are children of God, we are loved and we need not to worry about what comes.

I forget that the Lord has equipped us all with weapons to defeat the enemy. The ones He is always reminding me to use is worship and praise. When we sing to God, hell trembles. Darkness flees. The enemy shakes; he hates it. He can’t stand to be near it.

In the middle of another attack on my mind, the Lord whispered to me: “You’re being attacked. I want you to sing.”

Immediately I began to sing. The worries and stress that had such a hold on my mind began to lift. I felt lighter, freer. Soon my worries were gone as I was wrapped in praise and worship for my God.

Friend, praise and worship is such a powerful weapon. There are many instances in the Bible were praise and worship were used to change negative situations into more positive outcomes:

For freedom: Paul and Silas singing praises to God were rescued by an angel while imprisoned in Acts 16:25-34 (ESV)

As a weapon: Joshua and the Israelites defeat Jericho in Joshua 6 ... Jehoshaphat defeated Moab and Ammon without a fight in 2 Chronicles 20:18-23 (ESV)

When we praise God through song, we remind ourselves and the enemy who’s in charge. We remember all the things that the Lord has done for us. We remember how much we are loved by God. Instead of being filled with worry and anger, we become filled with gratitude and love for our God.

We cannot be wrapped up in ourselves or our problems if we are lifting our voices in praise to God. It doesn’t matter if you can carry or tune or not, our praise, our worship is beautiful to Him.

So the next time you find yourself being attacked by the enemy, lift your voice in song to the Lord. He will flee and you will have victory.

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Author Bio:

Alexis is a 36-year-old lover of Jesus, loose leaf tea, roller coasters, writing stories and going on adventures. Originally from Marietta, GA, Alexis now resides in Fresno, CA.

You can always find Alexis outdoors enjoying a walk in her neighborhood, scoping out the newest food truck, hanging out with friends or planning her next trip.

Her church, The Revival Center, and family mean the world to her. They have supported her through the loss of her mother and her own cancer diagnosis.

Alexis enjoys encouraging others by reminding them not to look at what they see, but to always look to God, who is working in the unseen.

Alexis currently writes for several online ministries and launched her first podcast – The Brave Podcast – in January 2020.

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Connect with Alexis:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/apeachincali/
Facebook: www.facebook.com/apeachincali
Podcast: http://thebravepodcast.buzzsprout.com
Website: www.apeachincali.com