Interview with Nichole J. Suvar about her new nonfiction book

Interview with Nichole J. Suvar about her book, I Don't Have to Hold It All Together: Cultivating the Peace of Eden When Feeling Overwhelmed

Alexis: Why did you write this book? Share the story behind its creation.

Nichole: Anxiety has been a part of me for as long as I can remember.

I have memories of panic attacks in early elementary school. It wasn't until I was 36 years old that I received a diagnosis of generalized anxiety disorder and major depression. At that time, I started what I call a healing journey. I saw a doctor for medication, started seeing a counselor, and began learning tools that I could use to help me address this overwhelming anxiety.

One thing that kept coming back to me as I went through this healing journey was thinking about Eden and how absolutely lovely and perfect it had to have been. Coupled with my struggle with an anxiety disorder, was perfection, and the striving for control. Because we believe that when we can control things, it helps us feel less anxious.

I would often ask myself, what part of this life that I'm experiencing right now was good back in Eden, but now it's just a little distorted because of the fall.

And because I was thinking through that quite a bit, it led me to think about different areas that God has left here for us, different attributes of Eden, that we can cultivate in our lives to better understand our Father, our Creator, and to know His peace more deeply.

Alexis: In your book, you talk about God and His creation. How did your faith in God impact your writing of this book?

Nichole: The only reason I wrote this book is because of Jesus Christ. I tried for years to manage this anxiety on my own. I thought I had to get it all figured out and had to get myself together before I could be of any use in the Kingdom of God.

Because of that, I wasn't taking it all to the Father (God) and asking Him to help me relieve it. I saw those verses in Scripture that tell us to “cast our cares on Him” and “not to be anxious about anything” as commands, not invitations. But when I started seeing my Father as One who wants to come alongside me and relieve me of these burdens, it helped me draw closer to Him rather than hide from Him and shame.

Alexis: You talk about how you lived with undiagnosed anxiety for over 30 years. How did you survive? Share how your life changed after your illness was diagnosed and treated by doctors.

Nichole: Survival is a great way of putting it because I survived, but I was not thriving. I just held on and white-knuckled my way through life. I kept myself busy. I got a lot done. As a high-functioning anxious person, I had a lot of things on my plate, and I could get a lot of things done because anxiety was fueling all of it. But if I really allowed myself to stop and slow down, the anxiety would overwhelm me. So, I just kept moving.

I tried to read my Bible more and pray more, but it came to a point where I felt shame because I just could not get a handle on the anxiety. It wasn't until I had a diagnosis and realized that this generalized anxiety disorder is more than just someone who doesn't have enough faith and they're worried about something, but it was an actual thing going on inside of my body.

And when I could see it that way, my perspective changed because I saw it as something in my body that wasn't functioning as it should. And I have to keep bringing it back to God every day, looking to Him to be the strong One to bring me through it. Instead of being the strong one and relying on myself, I have to admit that I am weak and trust Him to be strong.

Alexis: Why do you think there is a rise of anxiety in our culture?

Nichole: We have access to anything and everything. We know way more than what we need. We are handling way more in our brains than we need to. We're moving through life at increasingly faster speeds. We know way more than what our brains were made to really handle. And we are connected at all times.

Because of that, we don't have these times where we have the space to really rest. We are not spending nearly as much time with our Father (God) as we should. A lot of that is replaced by screens, endless to-do lists, and crammed schedules. Plus, social media is prevalent and always gives us a reason to compare and feel like we're behind. All of that adds up to a culture of anxiety.

Alexis: If you could speak into the life of every person living with anxiety, what would you say to encourage them in only a few sentences?

Nichole: Anxiety can come from a lot of different directions. Sometimes the root is unconfessed sin we need to bring before God. It could be a relationship that needs to be addressed. It could be an actual diagnosis of something, meaning our hormones or brain chemicals are unbalanced. There could be a lot of reasons for the anxiety.

Regardless of the source, we need to take it to Jesus first. We need to bring Him into it with us. He wants to meet us in the middle of it and to help us. And so, our first step is to invite Him in.

You can struggle with anxiety and still have a deep relationship with Jesus. Struggling with anxiety does not disqualify you in the kingdom of God. Just make sure that you're taking it to Him instead of trying to handle it yourself.

Alexis: You made an interesting point about how we as humans have always been chasing peace in all the wrong places. Why do you think it’s like that for us?

Nichole: The fall distorted things and made us start to think that we were in control.

When we're in control, we start to believe we're also in control of peace. But the problem is, we manufacture the peace instead of going to our Father (God), the true source of peace. We're trying to build it ourselves by controlling situations, people, places, and things.

It's the enemy's lie to keep us focused on our own things, thinking that we can control it. Because when we believe we can control it, we aren't taking it to God.

Alexis: What is the solution to our ongoing search for peace?

Nichole: Jesus. And we need to see that every part of our life needs to be brought to Him, every little bit. Nothing is insignificant for Him. And when we are bringing Him into the middle of everything, even the messy parts, He is ready to carry it for us. He is ready to meet us there, be with us, and carry us through.

Alexis: How did God teach you to let go of perfectionism, control and endless activity?

Nichole: It is an ongoing lesson as I continue to learn more about how anxiety affects me.

I see that when I pursue perfectionism, control, and endless activity, I am leaving less room for God to be God. When I chase after perfectionism, control, and productivity, I'm putting myself on the throne.

And sometimes, in some seasons, it has to be a daily giving up of that throne. I want to keep putting myself on it, but God has shown me time and time again that when I'm willing to let things be less than perfect, allow him to be the One in control, and to actually embrace rest, I can walk into a deeper relationship with Him.

Alexis: You said that your book invites people to return to the garden God created, one where true peace is designed. What do you mean? Please explain how this will help them as they journey through this life on Earth.

Nichole: In my book, I talk about seven attributes of Eden that are still present here today, helping us access God's peace and know Him better. I call these things God's design for mental wellness. He does not want us to live in a state of overwhelm and hurry. He wants us to live with a trusting heart, resting in his provision and not our own.

When we look to cultivate these Edenic attributes in our lives, it has to be intentional. Think about when you start a garden, you have to do your part, which involves getting seeds, tilling up the ground, planting the seeds, and even giving them a first watering from a garden hose. But then after that, the sunshine, rain, little sprouts, blossoms, fruit, and vegetables—all of that comes from God.

We have to be intentional with our part in cultivating the garden. We have to go in and pluck out weeds, but all of the increase and growth and provision comes from God. And when we are cultivating these parts of Eden, we're doing the parts that we can, and we're trusting God to bring the increase, to bring the peace.

Alexis: You’ve mentioned that God’s original plan holds the answers to our deepest desires. How so? And what was His original plan?

Nichole: His original plan was for humans to be in the garden with Him, to walk in communion with Him, to be in complete rest and peace, to be surrounded by beauty and perfectness. That is God's original plan. So, when we look at His original plan, what parts of Eden has He designed for us to still enjoy today? And those are the attributes that I discuss in my book.

Alexis: You’ve said that we don’t have to keep searching for peace because it’s been available to us all along. What do you mean by this powerful point?

Nichole: The peace that’s been available all along comes from God. We try to manufacture our own peace by checking off the to-do list, organizing more things, and getting our schedule the way it should look.

We believe that when we have those in a certain way, we will be able to calm the chaos, and we'll feel more peaceful. But the truth is, all of that is manufactured by us, and the peace attached to it is fleeting. But God's peace is permanent and steadfast, even in the middle of any kind of chaos.

That is the peace that's been available to us all along.

Alexis: What do you want readers to take away from your book?

Nichole: I want the readers to experience life with their hands open, not grasping for control or creating their own comforts, but looking for ways God is providing for them and meeting them in the middle of their overwhelm, anxiety, and chaos. I want them to see how they can have a deeper relationship with Him when they choose to let Him be the one holding everything together, not them.

Alexis: Thanks for the interview, Nichole! 

~*~
Author Bio:

Nichole J. Suvar is an author and speaker who knows what it feels like to live overwhelmed, rushed, and stretched thin by anxiety. 

Now, through her books, devotions, podcast, and speaking, she helps women slow down, understand what’s beneath the overwhelm, and step into a more grounded, purposeful life—one that reflects the peace God designed for them. She has published five books, her latest being I Don’t Have to Hold it All Together, Cultivating the Peace of Eden When Feeling Overwhelmed.

Nichole lives with her family in Northern Indiana. She collects chairs—the more colorful, the better—thinks all the best food is in sandwich form, and will stop everything to read a map. She’s a fan of hiking, cozy cardigans, and Earl Grey Tea, and she’s learning that life unfolds better with open hands instead of tightly held fists. 

You can connect with her at livewithintent.org

~*~
Blurb for Nichole's book:

In the beginning, God poured His love into a garden.

The Bible begins with the story of creation. God builds a beautiful world . . . and a garden. In the garden of Eden, creation drank of God’s goodness and lived in His perfect peace. Yet since the fall of humanity, we’ve all struggled to find or create our own versions of Eden. We’ve been chasing peace in all the wrong places.

Nichole Suvar knows this all too well. Living with undiagnosed anxiety for over 30 years, she’s tried to build a garden of Eden through perfectionism, control, and endless activity. These self-made solutions only deepened her unrest.

I Don’t Have to Hold it All Together invites you to return to the garden God created, where true peace was designed, and discover how His original plan holds the answers to your deepest desires. Weaving personal stories, practical wisdom, and insights from experts, Nichole explores the deep truths embedded in God’s original garden, truths about communion with God, purpose, community, the goodness of creation, boundaries, true rest, and more.

The rise of anxiety in our culture reflects a broken search for peace. Readers are invited to cultivate a life that seeks after God’s original plan of peace and comfort and identify areas in their life where they have built their own false Eden.

The peace we’ve been searching for isn’t something we can create ourselves; it’s been available to us all along. Come receive His gift.

~*~

Buy Nichole's book:

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Book Spotlight on "God, Where Are You?" by Dominique Young

GOD, WHERE ARE YOU?: The Book That Started as A Cry!

A guest post by Dominique Young

The book “God, Where Are You?” was not something I dreamed of writing since I was young. 

In fact, I never actually thought I was capable of writing a book. This book came from navigating a place of pain with God and learning that He is with us in our pain.

Let me tell you the story.

When I was pregnant with my second son I was struggling with mental health issues, depression, anxiety and what I what I would later find out was perinatal psychosis. To be honest I had been struggling with my mental health for years before this point, but I kept it hidden.

I thought that being a good Christian and having the right faith meant that I didn’t go through these things. The presence of mental health struggles in my life made me feel like I was an unworthy embarrassment to Jesus Christ. I wanted to fix myself before anyone else found out I was a Christian imposter.

So, I kept my mental health struggles silent, I went into prayer lines and never told the person what to pray for and just said “pray as the spirit leads” hoping that someone would pray the exact right prayer to make all this pain go away. I read all the books on how to pray. But nothing was working and one day, after a massive mental breakdown I landed in a mental hospital on a 72-hour hold, because after taking myself to the hospital voluntarily and explaining to the doctor was happening, he surmised that I was a danger to myself and others.

This was the moment that changed everything and little did I know that this would be the moment that would be the catalyst for this book. I cried in that hospital asking over and over again, “God, where are you?” After being released I was determined to find God. I was determined to understand why He wasn’t helping me.

This search for God took me on an amazing journey of reading the Bible cover to cover multiple times, starting Bible studies with groups of women and listening intently as they shared, learning from each person in the room, enrolling in seminary and spending countless hours in prayer. What started out as a complaint to God and a frustration at God for not healing me the way I wanted ended up being a journey of amazing discovery.

It wasn’t until 2023 that I realized that God wanted me to write a book, and not just any book, a book that walked alongside people on journey of discovering God in the middle of pain.

My personal journey was really broken into three phases, I didn’t realize that when I was walking through it, but in hindsight I could see it clearly. First, I found myself. I was hiding and without coming out of hiding, I wouldn’t be able to see God. My face was so very masked and as you know masks at times disrupt your vision. Next on my journey I found God. I found that He was with me in ways I could never imagine, which actually confused me because if He is with me why didn’t He stop the pain? 

That question brought me to the leg of my journey that honestly, I am still in today which is learning that it’s about more that God zapping away all my problems it’s about God being with me through them and me being with Him through them. It’s about relationship.

I felt led by the Holy Spirit to walk with others on their journey in 2023. I hope to encourage them through my own story to be willing to discover God within the pages of their own story.

Honestly “God, Where are You?” did not start out as a book in my life. It began as a cry and that cry turned into a tear-filled journey. And that journey, by God’s grace and through the support of Jevon Bolden (my literary agent) and NavPress (my book publisher), it is now a book that can serve as a travel companion for others on the journey of finding God in pain, grief, depression, and darkness.

~*~
Author Bio:

Dominique Young is the founder of Faith Mamas Inc./Faith Family Worldwide), a community of 6,000+ Christian women and a private app serving over 1,700 believers. 

She helps others break free from fear through Scripture and has been featured on the “Don’t Mom Alone” and “Refreshed Moms” podcasts.

Dominique holds a psychology degree from Hampton University and is pursuing her MA in Theology at Fuller Seminary.

She is also a devoted wife and mother of four.

~*~
Book Blurb:

Here is a safe space for your deepest questions and your hidden pain.

If you’re silently suffering under the weight of depression, anxiety, shame, grief, and spiritual doubt, Dominique Young helps you discover the nearness of a God who does not shy away from your brokenness. In this safe space, you are invited to take off your mask, confront your hidden pain, and be seen by God for who you truly are―beloved.

Far from a quick fix or feel-good message, God, Where Are You? is a vulnerable, faith-filled journey that uses heartfelt storytelling and practical tools to help you wrestle with real emotions and deep questions―like how to deal with failure, how to find your true identity, and more.

Practical tools include:

Tracing God Devotionals: Explore Bible verses at the end of each chapter and learn how to recognize God’s character and presence even in hard places.

Reflection Questions: Through self-examination, you can heal deeply and receive clarity, healing, and personal revelation.

Prayers: Each chapter includes heartfelt prayers that bridge raw emotion and spiritual intimacy, modeling honest and hopeful dialogue with God.

God, Where Are You? is not just a book to be read―it’s a healing journey to be walked. With authenticity, compassion, and biblical grounding, Dominique is your traveling companion to uncover the life-giving truth: even in the silence, God is near.

~*~
Buy this book:

Amazon

Barnes and Noble

Books-A-Million

Christian Book

Walmart

Book Spotlight on "A Verse a Day for the Anxious Soul" by Becky Keife

Why I Wrote A Verse a Day for the Anxious Soul (my book)

A guest post by Becky Keife

For years, I couldn’t name what lived inside my chest.

I only knew it felt heavy—like a brick I woke up with and carried into the night. I didn’t understand why my thoughts raced when everything around me was quiet. I didn’t have language for the ache that sat beneath the surface of my life, or the sadness that rose without warning and didn’t match my circumstances. All I knew was that something in me felt wound tight—tense, scattered, knotted up.

For a long time, I believed my anxiety was evidence that I wasn’t trying hard enough or trusting God enough. If I could just pray more, be more disciplined, more grateful, more something, then surely I’d find relief. Instead, I felt like I carried a scarlet A—not for adulteress, but anxious. And in my mind, anxious meant weak. Broken. Less-than.

Looking back, I can see how the enemy would have loved for me to stay stuck in that shame. Anxiety became a place I hid. A wall between me and God, and between me and the people I loved.

But walls, even painful ones, can become doors.

It wasn’t until I finally reached the end of what I could muscle through on my own that I discovered anxiety is both a legitimate diagnosis and, strangely, a gift. A teacher. An invitation. A place where God met me not with condemnation, but compassion.

My anxious soul was not proof that God was far away. It was the place He came closest.

Why This Book Matters to Me

A Verse a Day for the Anxious Soul was birthed from that journey—years of untangling knots, sitting in therapy, learning the wisdom of medication when needed, and slowly discovering that peace isn’t the absence of anxiety—it’s the presence of Jesus in it. And like any gift God gives, I couldn’t keep it to myself.

I wrote this book for the woman who lies awake at night replaying conversations, sorting through “what ifs” like pebbles she can’t put down.

For the mom who holds everything together on the outside but collapses internally under the weight of worry. For the believer who loves Jesus but wonders why her faith doesn’t erase fear. For the one who has prayed to be steadier, calmer, braver—and feels guilty that she still can’t breathe.

I wrote this book because we need a way to meet God in the middle of the spinning. A way to come—not as women who have it together, but as women who are tired of trying. Jesus never asked us to carry our burdens alone. He simply says, Come.

“Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28, NLT) Those words changed me. And I believe they will change you, too.

What I Hope You Experience

As you turn these pages of A Verse a Day for the Anxious Soul, you won’t find a quick fix or a magic formula. You’ll find a companion. You’ll find Scripture that breathes oxygen into weary lungs. You’ll find gentle truth for days when your heart feels loud and uncertain. You’ll find exercises that help you inhale God’s promises and exhale trust, one breath at a time. You’ll find prayers for the moments when your own words don’t come.

This book won’t ask you to ignore your anxiety. It won’t shame you for it. Instead, it will walk with you toward peace—slowly, steadily, kindly. A little each day. A step at a time. Because peace isn’t something we earn. Peace is Someone we come to. And when you do, even in the smallest, simplest way—reading one verse, pausing for one breath, whispering one prayer—you make space for God’s presence to fill the places fear once occupied.

Why I Believe It Will Help You

You might be holding this article right now with a heart that feels frayed or frantic. Maybe you’re tired. Maybe you’re discouraged by how often anxiety shows up in your story. Maybe you’re worried that you should be stronger by now. Friend, I have been there. Truly.

But hear me—your struggle does not disqualify you from closeness with God. It draws you nearer. An anxious soul is not evidence of spiritual failure. It is an invitation to deeper dependence. To rest. To renewal. To Jesus. If you let Him, He will meet you right where you are. In the racing thoughts. In the shallow breathing. In the midnight hours where your fears feel loudest.

I wrote A Verse a Day for the Anxious Soul because I needed a guide like this—practical, gentle, rooted in Scripture and overflowing with hope. And now I want to place it in your hands, so you never have to walk this road alone.

I believe, with everything in me, that peace is possible. Not someday when you feel stronger. Not when the anxiety evaporates. Not when life becomes easier.

Peace is possible today—because Jesus is here today.

Come with me.
Let’s breathe.
Let’s read.
Let’s walk toward rest together.

Your anxious soul is not the end of your story.

It might just be the beginning of healing.

~*~
Author Bio:

Becky Keife is a Bible teacher, speaker, and author of books and Bible studies. 

Her newest release is a 100-day devotional called A Verse a Day for the Anxious Soul. Becky is passionate about helping people hear God’s voice, embrace their true identity, and see God’s kindness even when life is messy.

As a mental health advocate, Becky equips individuals and churches to understand anxiety biblically and experience Jesus wholly. She loves long naps, puffy clouds, and shady trails. Becky lives in Southern California with her husband and three always-hungry teenage sons.

Learn more about Becky’s work and invite her to speak at beckykeife.com, or connect with her on Instagram @beckykeife.

Devotionals for the Heart: Hope for when you're in a dark season of life

Without Reproach
A devotional by Aubrey Taylor

“You were his enemies, separated from him by your evil thoughts and actions. Yet now He has reconciled you to himself through the death of Christ in his physical body. As a result, he has brought you into his own presence, and you are holy and blameless as you stand before him without a single fault.”—Colossians 1:21-22 (NLT)

Have you ever come across a devotional that was spot on and filled with perfect encouragement for those whose faith just needs a little boost, yet you feel worse after reading it than you did when you picked it up?

Perhaps you thought: Lord, why isn’t this true for me? I do all these things, yet I don’t feel any better! Even though I’ve been living free from chronic depression for three years, I am still sensitive to the way I would have felt during the darkest seasons of my life. I can read at a devotional or listen to a sermon and remember how I would have received it as someone who was severely depressed.

I realize that many devotional writers write for a general audience and simply cannot address every nuance in the human experience, but I also remember my experiences all too well. To those who find themselves in a season of depression, you are not alone. While there are many devotionals that are not written for you in this season, this one is.

We don’t always know how to interpret the feelings of depression, and others don’t know what advice to give. When we take well-intentioned suggestions such as, “Spend more time in the Word of God or turn on more worship music,” the hopelessness does not go away. We begin to internalize and blame ourselves, seeing sin in our life that is not there. This leads to feelings of condemnation, which leads to more depression. It is a vicious cycle.

Do you feel like words on a page, in a sermon, or in a song only serve to condemn you? Is Romans 8:1 (NLT) that says, “there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus”, something you know in your head but not in your heart?

At some point in my depressed past, I began to identify with the word reproach. I felt reproached by so many things—even things in the Word of God. The Collins Dictionary defines the word “reproach” this way: “to impute blame to (a person) for an action or fault; rebuke to bring disgrace or shame upon.” In light of that definition, let’s read the words from Colossians 1:21-22 (NLT) again. It says, “This includes you who were once far away from God. You were his enemies, separated from him by your evil thoughts and actions. Yet now he has reconciled you to himself through the death of Christ in his physical body. As a result, he has brought you into his own presence, and you are holy and blameless as you stand before him without a single fault.”

If you are still battling your way through depression, if you haven’t found healing yet, whether supernatural or through medication or counseling or a combination of all three, hold onto this verse: “You are holy and blameless before Him without a single fault.”

God doesn’t look at your depression, or your inability to pull yourself up out of it, as a fault. Furthermore, the reproach you are feeling may not be an indication of any sin. It is very much tied to a marred perception of God’s heart. The promise that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus is more than empty words. God wants you to know it in your heart and experience it in your life.

If you are going through a dark season, I want to encourage you that there is healing. Your route to healing may not look like someone else’s. For me, it has included years of counseling with a godly woman who helped me re-structure my thought life, and medication to balance things that were out of sync. As He promises to do in 2 Corinthians 1:4, God has used this drawn-out process to help me understand others who are suffering, comforting me in my affliction so that I may turn and comfort those who are in affliction. Someday, He will use your suffering for His glory as well—and for the comfort of others.

Let’s Pray:

Dear Lord Jesus,

Thank You that Your Word is true. There is truly no condemnation for those of us who are in Christ Jesus! Because of Your sacrificial death, I stand before You, blameless without a single fault. Even if I don’t feel that way, it is the truth. Help me begin to see myself and my life the way You see me. Please guard my ears and heart so that I stop sensing condemnation and reproach when what I need is encouragement and comfort. Guide me into healing, so that what I have suffered may be used for Your glory. 

In Jesus’s name I pray, 

Amen.

Song of Reflection #1: "My Prayer for You" by Alisa Turner. Listen to it here.

Song of Reflection #2: "Hold On" by Katy Nichole. Listen to it here.

Song of Reflection #3: "I Almost Let Go" by Kurt Carr. Listen to it here.

~*~
Author Bio:

As a child, Aubrey spent countless hours creating characters and writing stories.

 

Thirty years later, she took up her pen again, uniting her fascination for history with her passion for redemption. The stories she creates are a unique brand of gritty, honest wartime sagas, written from the German perspective.

Aubrey is the mother of three children, and she is married to her best friend Brian.

When she’s not writing or taking care of home and family, she can often be found making music, reading, or spending time with friends.

~*~
Connect with Aubrey:
Website: www.aubreytaylorbooks.com
Blog: www.aubreytaylorbooks.com/blog
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/aubreytaylorbooks
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aubreytaylorbooks/
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/aubtaybooks

Devotionals for the Heart: How to support someone who has depression

How to Be an Ally for Someone with Depression
A devotional by Jessica Brodie

Depression is a vicious beast. It steals sunshine on days we desperately crave it and sets the mind on trajectories that seem to have no finish line.

I know this all too well, as I have a number of loved ones who struggle with depression, including my teenage daughter.

One thing that hurts my heart is the way we Christians can, even innocently and unintentionally, minimize the feelings and the daily struggle of those who battle depression. I know I’ve done this myself, even as I strive to be an ally and supportive sister in Christ. The truth is I don’t understand their plight because I don’t have depression myself. And while I can relate, having been through depressive periods in my life and valleys that had me on my knees crying out to the Lord, it’s really not the same.

For some of my loved ones, depression looks like an almost constant fight. Some days are good, but some are not. And on the bad days, it feels like there will never be a bright tomorrow in this earthly world. Meanwhile, those without the disorder seem almost radiant in comparison, as if they have no cares in the world and an almost oppressively positive outlook.

Then there are the offhandedly judgy comments or suggestions my depressed loved ones have to experience…“What do you have to be depressed about? Just smile.” “You know, if you just prayed more or had more faith….” “You don’t really need medicine.” “Perhaps if you went for a walk, or joined this gym….” “Have you considered volunteering? Staying busy keeps your mind off yourself.”

The thing is, most people who battle depression have tried and continue to try all these. Their faith is strong, but the chemicals in their brain are on overdrive, resulting in a serious medical illness that negatively affects how they feel, think, and act. Sometimes, getting out of bed is a struggle.

I’m convinced that depression, as well as other physical and mental illness, are things the evil one uses to get a foothold and sabotage us in a persistent effort to wage war for souls. We all know there is a spiritual war going on, and some of us see it—I know I do. My eyes have been opened, and it’s waging all around us. Cancer, depression, all sorts of things are chinks in our armor as we join forces with other followers of Jesus Christ to stand strong for the Lord, for good, against evil.

But they are also chinks that God can use for His glory, for as Romans 8:28 promises, “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them” (NLT).

God has a purpose and a job, sometimes many jobs, for each of us in God’s mighty and heavenly army, even those of us still alive on earth. But that purpose is not always obvious, and sometimes—especially when depression blinds us to even the possibility that we might have such a purpose—we lose sight. The battle is hard. The dark is oppressive.

But we are children of the light, even if we don’t always feel that way because of the mood disorders or physical ailments we fight.

I’ve found there are things that can help people experiencing depression. Just like people battling diabetes are helped with insulin, or cancer with chemotherapy and radiation, people with depression often are helped by medication and therapy. A nutritious diet and daily exercise, even just light walking, also can be a tremendous help. It might not improve things significantly, but it can keep things from getting much, much worse.

But solidarity helps, too. Knowing they have the support, sympathy, and empathy of other people can be huge. Knowing they have value in spite of their illness feels good and encourages them to press on.

It also helps to understand other people who have made a difference in God’s kingdom battled depression, too—people like Moses, King David, the prophet Elijah, the prophet Jeremiah, and many others. I wrote an article as few years ago for BibleStudyTools.com that dives into what the Bible says about depression, and it helps me to know other people God has used also experienced depression, anxiety, and other things: https://www.biblestudytools.com/bible-study/topical-studies/what-does-the-bible-say-about-depression.html

If you struggle with depression, whether because it’s an extraordinarily difficult period in your life right now or because you have a long-term mood disorder, please know I’m praying for you. And if I can pray for you specifically, please reach out.

If you love someone with depression, keep praying for them and loving them. Their battle can be invisible, but it is fully real and incredibly difficult.

Remember: When one of us in the body of Christ hurts, we all hurt. Let’s come together in love and support, whatever that looks like. Together, may we heed the words the apostle Paul wrote to his young mentee, Timothy, as we strive to bring heaven on earth for eternity:

“Fight the good fight for the true faith. Hold tightly to the eternal life to which God has called you, which you have declared so well before many witnesses” (1 Timothy 6:12 NLT).

Let’s Pray: Lord, help me to be a supportive ally to my Christian brothers and sisters struggling with depression. Help me to wage war against evil with them and not be yet another stumbling block they must endure. Use me for Your ultimate glory, Lord. Amen.

Song of Reflection: “Better” by Jessica Reedy. Listen to it here.

~*~
Author Bio:

Jessica Brodie is an award-winning Christian novelist, journalist, editor, blogger, and writing coach and the recipient of the 2018 American Christian Fiction Writers Genesis Award for her novel, The Memory Garden.

She is also the editor of the South Carolina United Methodist Advocate, the oldest newspaper in Methodism. Learn more about her fiction and read her faith blog at http://jessicabrodie.com. She has a weekly YouTube devotional and podcast. You can also connect with her on Facebook, Twitter, and more. She’s also produced a free eBook, A God-Centered Life: 10 Faith-Based Practices When You’re Feeling Anxious, Grumpy, or Stressed.

Devotionals for the Heart: Why we should have a compassionate heart

A Compassionate Heart
A devotional by Jessica Brodie

Many of you know I have a passion for helping people understand mental and emotional health. As a follower of Jesus Christ, I have discovered some Christians are leery of talking about these issues—or taking medication or seeking counseling.

Mental illness includes anxiety, depression, Bipolar disorder, Schizophrenia, and more. You cannot always tell a person has it. It’s often called an “invisible illness”, much like diabetes.

While I don’t have mental illness, my daughter does, as do several family members. I grew up understanding a lot. One thing that truly helps me love my people well is learning as much as I can so I can understand even better. When we understand what people go through—grief, addiction, mental health, relationship struggles, physical health, disabilities, trauma, and more—it helps build empathy and compassion.

The Bible tells us compassion is one of the ways we can model Christ and love others well in this world. One of my favorite verses, from the Apostle Paul, urges us to, “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you” (Colossians 3:12-13 NIV).

I love the idea of “clothing” myself in a jacket or a robe of compassion and all these other qualities so people see the light of Christ through me.

Like many illnesses, mental illness can be a mysterious thing. Because it deals with the brain, it’s often tough to discover exactly what is going on, as we can’t really get in there and work on somebody’s brain on a regular basis. It affects hormones, adrenaline, light sensitivity, sleep…all sorts of things. Doctors know a fair amount about mental illness, but they don’t know everything.

It’s the same with cancer. You’d think by now we’d have a cure for cancer, but we don’t, and I’ve lost far too many loved ones at this point; perhaps we all have. We have medicine that can help put someone in remission, but sometimes the cancer comes back and spreads. It’s the same with diabetes—with all the money going into researching a cure, it certainly would be wonderful if we had a drug we could give someone that automatically and perfectly regulates their insulin for life. Instead, it’s just daily maintenance, checking and staying on top of insulin levels to make sure everything is okay.

It's much the same with mental illness—daily maintenance and constant checking-in are required for someone to live well and manage their disease. And it’s up to the people around them, those of us who love and support them (and are also very much impacted by their illness), to learn how to do this. That’s why something I learned recently really resonated, and I have to share.

Recently, I heard a Ted Talk speaker, Dr. Stuart Ablon, give a really interesting analogy about mental illness and the behavioral issues that often come along with it, comparing it to a learning disability. Ablon works with kids and teens experiencing mental and behavioral health issues and is the director of the Think:Kids program in the Department of Psychiatry at Massachusetts General Hospital. He said research is making psychiatrists and other mental health professionals understand that it’s not that kids do well if they want to—rather, it’s that kids do well if they can.

That is, people with mental and behavioral health problems don’t necessarily lack the will to get better but the skills to get better. It’s up to us all to figure out what is standing in their way of getting better…how to develop those skills.

It’s an apt and powerful analogy, he said, to realize it’s much like a learning disability, except instead of having problems in reading, writing, or math, they have problems in problem-solving, frustration-tolerance, or flexibility.

I believe he’s right. I’ve seen firsthand how with mental illness, someone might have anxiety or depression or something else, but because they’ve learned how to control their emotions and behavior rationally—whether through therapy, medication, or other hard work—they’re able to function reasonably well with their illness. This is because they have learned to modify their behavior accordingly.

It is absolutely not my daughter’s fault that she has mental illness. It runs in the family and it’s something she inherited, and she’s working hard to manage it.

But it does get frustrating sometimes. That’s when it is helpful to try to understand it from a different perspective. I’m acknowledging that what she’s going through is tough and that she has to work extra hard at things that might come far more easily to someone else.

I wonder if that’s a bit how Jesus feels about us. As the Son of God, Jesus was born as a man. He spent more than three decades in a human body, experiencing life the same way we do. He faced the temptations we face. He understands what it means to overcome struggles, for he had to do that too. And he told us exactly what we need to do for salvation: We need to believe and repent. We need to keep his commands and love God and others.

But sometimes that’s easier said than done, isn’t it? It can be really hard to put our enemies, people who have done nasty things to us, on the same basic level as our loved ones, to care for them the same way we care for ourselves. It can be really hard to keep our thoughts on God when our bodies are tempted.

Maybe it was easy for Jesus to live without sin. We know he was the only perfect human being who walked the earth. Who knows—perhaps as the Son of God, he was more naturally inclined to be able to resist those things. I’m not exactly sure how the mystery of his divinity works, but I do know that he is aware of how hard it is for us. He knows how it feels to be tempted, and he knows all the moods and hormones and desires running through our bones.

Perhaps Jesus looks at us—all us sinful, struggling humans—with the same sympathy I have for my daughter. He sees how hard we’re working and hopes we can get it right for our own good because he loves us.

Loving people isn’t never easy, but it’s something we’re commanded to do. If you, like me, love someone with mental illness, do your best to try to wrap your head around what they go through. If you’re having trouble relating, see if comparing it to diabetes, or a learning disability, might help you open your mind a little bit more to their experience.

We live in a fallen world, and I think it’s so important that we extend grace to people in the same way God extends grace to us.

Let’s Pray: Lord, please grant me compassion to love others in the world around me in a way that honors and reflects the merciful way You love us. Help me to develop increased kindness and sympathy for those with mental illness and other behavioral issues. In Your Name I pray. Amen.

~*~
Author Bio:

Jessica Brodie is an award-winning Christian novelist, journalist, editor, blogger, and writing coach and the recipient of the 2018 American Christian Fiction Writers Genesis Award for her novel, The Memory Garden. 

She is also the editor of the South Carolina United Methodist Advocate, the oldest newspaper in Methodism. Learn more about her fiction and read her faith blog at http://jessicabrodie.com.

She has a weekly YouTube devotional and podcast. You can also connect with her on Facebook, Twitter, and more. She’s also produced a free eBook, A God-Centered Life: 10 Faith-Based Practices When You’re Feeling Anxious, Grumpy, or Stressed.

Devotionals for the Heart: How to love someone who suffers from anxiety

Five Ways to Love Someone with Anxiety
A devotional by Jessica Brodie

"Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing."

– 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (ESV)

Do you love someone with anxiety? Or do you have anxiety and sometimes find it hard to connect with loved ones in a meaningful way that feeds your soul or theirs?

Last month, I shared four ways to love someone with depression (click here if you missed it).

This month, I offer five ways to love someone with anxiety.

Just like I have a number of family members with depression, I have others who struggle with anxiety and panic attacks, including one of my children. It’s not easy for them, and before I got more educated, it was hard for me to understand how to love them well in the midst of their road to mental health and recovery.

Many of these tips are rooted in scripture, for God created us, and God knows all about what it means to face our fears and strive to live well in the midst of our roiling, tumultuous emotions, thoughts, and responses. 

Here are some things I’ve learned (five ways to love someone with anxiety):

Way #1:  Get educated

First, get educated about anxiety. It’s important to know all we can about this disease and understand it isn’t something “invented” just because it can be invisible. Like cancer or diabetes, sometimes there is no physical evidence of anxiety, but it is very real. Knowing its effects, its triggers, and how to aid someone when they are having an anxiety episode can be both helpful and empowering. It can also be liberating and comforting for your loved one—they don’t have to explain or teach as much but can simply just be.

God gives us the Bible as a teaching tool. It contains much wisdom for how to love well and live in alignment with Him. We should read the Bible as a way to understand God and His people better. The Bible gives us so many reasons to “get educated” about God by reading His Word.

In 2 Timothy 3:16-17, we’re reminded, “All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work.”

Joshua 1:8 tells us the Book of the Law “shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success.”

Similarly, while anxiety education is not the same as knowing and “meditating on” God’s Word, it can be very helpful. It can equip us and help us live a more successful life.

Way #2: Accept them

Anxiety isn’t something that can go away on its own. It isn’t something you can “wish away” or “rise above.” It’s very real to the people that experience it, and those who have anxiety didn’t get it as punishment, nor are they not “good enough” or “Christian enough” because they have it. It’s a disorder.

Therefore, accepting them as they are can be a wonderful way to love them. Some people have anxiety all their lives, and others struggle with anxiety episodes that ebb and flow in different seasons or times of stress. It’s not your job to fix them or offer solutions.

In 1 Peter 4:8, we’re told, “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.”

Love them as they are. It’s enough!

Way #3: Get physical

Sometimes we underestimate the effects of physical behavior when it comes to anxiety. Many people with anxiety feel like they’re trapped between fight or flight, yet the impending doom they sense creeps ever closer. They are frozen.

Helping your loved one “take flight” can help if that’s what they wish—offer to walk with them, or do some exercise. Distract them with physical activity like a chore or house project, or even just dance.

Or you can help your loved one “fight” by choosing to settle into the moment, to breathe, to sit there in their own space until the anxiety event passes.

Way #4: Establish yourself as a safe person

Anxiety can feel very chaotic and slippery. It can help people with anxiety to know there are certain constants in their life they can count on. That’s why things like square breathing, guided breaths, or meditation can help. So can other faith-oriented practices like prayer walks.

Also, having a number of trusted, supportive people in their life, who they can go to and talk or simply be, is helpful. You can establish yourself as a “safe person” by being authentic and stable, and truly keeping their best interest at heart. Don’t take it personally if they lash out, say “no” when you offer something, or cancel plans—understand that could be the anxiety. It doesn’t mean you need to accept abusive behavior, but it does mean you should let reason and love rule your relationship, not fluctuating feelings.

Security and boundaries can be very helpful when it comes to anxiety. Being a safe, secure person whose boundaries they can identify and respect helps because they know how to act with you. They know they can talk to you.

James 1:17 tells us God is the “father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.”

And Hebrews 13:8 tells us “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.”

Point your loved one to the unchanging, ever-constant Person of God, who loves them now and forever. And try your best to be like the unchanging Jesus, who loves always and is our forever “safe person” even when everything else in life seems like it’s falling apart.

Way #5: Be affirming

Don’t forget the power of an authentic, encouraging affirmation. If your loved one does something nice, thoughtful, or courageous, don’t be shy about letting them know you noticed and appreciate it.

In 1 Thessalonians 5:11, we’re told to “encourage one another and build one another up.”

People with anxiety sometimes feel like they’re floundering in a sea of doubt and negativity. Fears pile up, and they get overwhelmed. A positive affirmation or other appreciative message can counteract that spirit of negativity. 

~*~

These are just five things I’ve learned in my own experiences. What can you add to this? How are you loving the people with anxiety in your life, or if you have anxiety, how do you wish your people showed love to you?

Let’s Pray: Dear Father God, help me to understand anxiety, like any other illness, does not define a person but is an obstacle they encounter in life. Help me see it is valid and can be devastating in spite of the fact that it can be invisible. Help me love well and true, and remember to point to you as the ultimate model for how to love: with compassion, mercy, sacrifice, and grace. In your holy name I pray, Amen.

~*~
Author Bio:

Jessica Brodie is an award-winning Christian novelist, journalist, editor, blogger, and writing coach, and the recipient of the 2018 American Christian Fiction Writers Genesis Award for her novel, The Memory Garden.

She is also the editor of the South Carolina United Methodist Advocate, the oldest newspaper in Methodism, and a member of the Wholly Loved Ministries team.

Learn more about her fiction and read her faith blog at http://jessicabrodie.com.