Devotionals for the Heart: How God taught me to be more self-controlled

We All Have Smelly Words Sometimes
A devotional by Patti Schultz, Ed.D.

“Do everything without grumbling or arguing.”

—Philippians 2:14 (NIV)

There is a moment every parent knows. The moment before the words come out — that half-second when what we feel and what we're about to say are standing in the hallway together, and one of them needs to sit back down.

The Apostle Paul’s simple, almost laughably direct command in Philippians 2:14 is aimed right at that hallway: Do everything without grumbling or arguing. Everything. Even the homework battles. Even the spilled milk at 7 o’clock in the morning. Even the teenager who just rolled his eyes so hard you could hear it.

Before words become words, they are thoughts. And thoughts, like guests, need to be checked at the door. Not silenced, just screened. We should silently ask: Is what I'm about to say true? Is it kind? Is it necessary right now? That half-second pause is not weakness; it's the Holy Spirit doing His quiet, faithful work. Grumbling rarely starts loud. It begins as a murmur in the mind, a complaint rehearsed one too many times, until it walks right out the front door of our mouths and settles into the air around our children like a fog they can't quite name but can absolutely feel.

Here is a tender truth: Some of our words simply smell. They carry the odor of exhaustion, of unmet expectations, of fears we haven't handed to God yet. Grace is the deodorant. It doesn't pretend the smell isn't real; it transforms what goes out into the room. Before speaking to my child in a hard moment, I've learned to try breathing one honest prayer: Lord, let what comes out of me smell like You. A word laced with grace can correct without crushing. It can redirect without wounding. It can even say "no" in a way that feels like love because it is said from a place of care and compassion that lets the listener know they are loved.

Loving words are a currency we give, receive, and sometimes need to mop up from the floor. We give them when we choose encouragement over criticism, presence over distraction, saying “I'm proud of you” over silence. We receive them when our children speak their own brave truths to us and we resist the urge to defend or dismiss. And we mop them up on the days we get it wrong, which feels like most days for me, because parenting is not a performance. It is a long, imperfect act of love that keeps asking us to offer the same grace we so desperately need ourselves.

On the days I have already made a mess of it, when the words came out wrong and I know it, I found that going back is less scary than I thought. When I have to go back and mop up a harsh word, I try to do it with my whole self. Look them in the eye and say: “I was wrong, and you deserved better from me.” That is not weakness in front of your child. That is one of the greatest things they will ever see you do.

Philippians 2:14 is not a command to be cheerful at all costs. It is an invitation to carry our burdens without letting them become a burden on everyone around us. Somehow, in the middle of all that carrying, our kids are watching, not for perfection, but for what we do when we fall short. May they see in us someone who pauses in the hallway between what we feel and what we say…and chooses grace.

Let’s Pray:

Lord, set a gentle guard at my lips today. When I am tired and the words want to tumble out without kindness, slow me down. Let my thoughts pass through You before they reach my children. Where I have already spoken harm, give me the courage to go back and make it right. And in all the giving, receiving, and mopping up, let my children see not a perfect parent, but a loved and learning one. In Jesus’s name I pray. Amen.

~*~
Song of Reflection #1: “Speak Life” by Toby Mac. Listen to it here.

Song of Reflection #2: “Words” by Hawk Nelson. Listen to it here.

Song of Reflection #3: “Slow Down” by Nichole Nordeman. Listen to it here.

~*~
Author Bio:

Dr. Patti Schultz’s inspiring journey weaves a tapestry of compassion, resilience, and divine hope. 

Formerly a public school principal, professor, teacher, and interpreter for the deaf, she now dedicates her life to a heartfelt ministry rooted in her personal experiences.

As a mother to three miracle boys here on Earth and a member of a heavenly soccer team, Patti’s story is one of unwavering faith and profound love. Her decade-long battle with infertility and recurrent loss fuels her deep compassion for grieving mothers, guiding them toward healing through the comforting embrace of Jesus Christ’s garment.

Patti’s gentle wisdom offers a safe haven for women navigating pain, reminding them they are never alone. Through her ministry, she seeks to envelop grieving mothers in divine comfort, encouraging hope, renewal, and the reassurance that God's love is always near, wrapping them in His compassionate hem as they walk the path to healing.

Living in northern Michigan, she cherishes precious moments with family and community, drawing strength from faith and connection.

~*~
Connect with Patti:
Website: pattischultz.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.pattischultz/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Dr.Patti.Schultz
Email: dr.patti.schultz@gmail.com

Devotionals for the Heart: Emotions

Surrendering Our Emotions to God
A devotional by Monique Anderson

“So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want.” 

– Galatians 5:16-17 (NIV)

When it comes to relationships in the natural, we depend heavily on our feelings.

We rely on how a person makes us feel to determine how good or bad the relationship is. If the person gives us butterflies, makes us feel good, or comfortable, or safe then we decide that this is a good relationship, and this person cares about us. Being human beings of this world, we are naturally led by our feelings. But as we know, this is a fallen world. So are our feelings reliable leaders for our lives?

Having emotions, or even being emotional isn’t necessarily a bad thing. God gave us different emotions for a reason. He wants us to feel joy, happiness, excitement, and love. At the same time we also have to go through feelings of sadness, sorrow, grief, and anger. It is not what we feel that causes a problem, it’s how we respond to those feelings that can be dangerous. The way that we respond to our emotions can either lead to healing and peace, or brokenness and conflict.

The Bible provides several examples of those who mishandled their emotions. Below are some examples (from books in the Bible) of where these people’s misguided feelings led them.

Example #1: Anger. In Genesis, Cain killed his brother because of uncontrolled anger and jealousy in his heart. 

Example #2: Fear. In Genesis, Abraham lied to Abimelech about Sarah because he was afraid of losing his life.

Example #3: Lust. In 2 Samuel, David was led by lust and committed adultery with Bathsheba.

Example #4: Guilt. Judas killed himself because of the guilt he felt after betraying Jesus.

Letting our emotions take control of our decisions leads to bad choices and puts a wedge between you and your relationship with God.

I am guilty of frequently using the phrase “I don’t feel like it” whenever it comes to things that I need to be doing; specifically, the things that God instructs me to do. Instead of prioritizing my time for the work that He has trusted me with, I instead succumb to my feelings and my mood. The time that should be delegated to writing or studying God’s Word (The Holy Bible), gets overthrown by how I feel at that moment.

I realized that this was starting to put a strain on my relationship with God. I am not serving Him well when my emotions led me away from Him. Unlike the relationships we are used to in the natural, me relying on my feelings does not strengthen my relationship with God. I am learning to detach from my feelings and align myself to the Holy Spirit.

This is how our relationship with God was intended to be. We are to walk with God through life and use His Spirit as our helper and guide. John 14:26 (ESV) tells us: “But the helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.”

He is who we should rely on. The Holy Spirit can’t lie nor lead us astray … but our feelings? Our feelings will send us on an emotional rollercoaster, tossing us to and from. Our feelings change so frequently depending on our circumstances or mood. They are fickle and unreliable. So how can we allow the instability of our emotions to be the dictator of our lives? How can we make decisions based on feelings instead of God’s truth?

When we rely on our emotions more than the Holy Spirit, our emotions become our idol. We give into them. We obey them. They run our lives. We even allow our feelings to determine how much God loves us. When we don’t feel God’s presence, we think He has abandoned us. When we don’t feel the Holy Spirit when we pray or worship, we think God is not listening or paying attention to us. We are putting God in a box of how we think He should express his love for us.

We need to remember God is always present whether you feel Him or not. Don’t become so reliant on the “feeling” of God that you walk away from Him when He has actually never left your side.

So how can we respond well to our emotions?

We give them to God. We lay them at His feet. We surrender to Him everything inside of us that does not align with His character. We ask Him, “Why am I feeling this way?” Ask God, “What do these feelings really mean?” He will lead you in how to respond well. In our relationship with God, it is better to be emotionally detached than emotionally driven.

Let’s Pray: Heavenly Father, help us in detaching our emotions from our relationship with you. Help us to rely solely on the Holy Spirit to lead us in making the right decisions for our lives. I pray we no longer allow feelings to dictate how you love us. Give us the strength to not succumb to our feelings and make them idols. Holy Spirit, prompt us to follow your lead and teach us how to not follow our emotions. In Jesus’s Name I pray. Amen.

End note from Monique: I would like to recommend the following book by Peter Scazzero as a resource for remaining emotionally healthy in your Christian walk, Emotionally Healthy Spirituality: It's Impossible to Be Spiritually Mature, While Remaining Emotionally Immature.

~*~
Author Bio:

Monique M. Anderson is a writer, wife, and bonus mom to a 14 year old. She just recently unleashed her always present yet hidden talent of writing to the masses. She was born and raised in Mount Vernon, NY where she still resides, and serves on the prayer team of her church The Gathering Harlem.

Monique always felt like God was chasing after her, but never felt the need to surrender. Until that is when life started veering left, and she no longer wanted to steer so she finally gave Jesus the wheel. After forming her relationship with God she always felt compelled to share the revelations that the Word gave to her. She always felt the Holy Spirit prompting her to write, but was afraid of what people might think. So her writing started in her journal. The journal turned into a book, and the book into a blog.

Slowly but surely God’s love started to cast out all fear. She started to consistently update her bi- weekly blog called “Yours Truly, Moe.” Her obedience led to further revelation. God revealed to her that He would use her to help others along their walk the same way God helped her along hers. Since Monique did not grow up in church she always felt intimidated by the Christian life. She thought that she would be losing so much of herself, not realizing that she would actually find her TRUE self.

Since God has shown her who He really created her to be, she now feels it is her life’s work to help those that are taking their first baby steps in this walk with Christ. She is doing so through her blog, and soon to be published book. Monique is excited to extend her reach to podcasts and speaking engagements in the near future.

Her blog is the stepping stone to fulfilling the vision God gave to her – “Sharing God’s revelations so we can all reflect his image and fulfill his purpose.”

~*~
Connect with Monique:
Website: www.yourstrulymoe.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourstruly__moe/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Yours-Truly-Moe-140255684101423

Romantic Reads: Forever Music

Welcome Hope Toler Dougherty to the blog! 

She's here to talk about her book, Forever Music, and she's hosting a giveaway!

Remember to enter the book giveaway contest via the Rafflecopter widget that's located at the end of this blog post.

Enjoy!

~*~

Interview with Hope Toler Dougherty about her book, Forever Music:

Alexis: Why did you write this story?

Hope: I’m intrigued with the idea of emotional affairs. Josie and Ches begin a friendship, but it turns into more even though Ches already has a girlfriend at the beginning of the book. They deny their feelings but won’t decline spending time together. Both of them justify meetings and training sessions with each other. People sometimes justify social media contact with old friends. That contact turns into flirtatious emails and calls and then turns into more. I wanted to explore that journey.

Alexis: How did you choose the title for this book?

Hope: There is, of course, a musical theme in the book with songs coming up throughout, and music is also a metaphor. Josie wants Ches to play music he likes instead of the music he had to play for piano lessons. She also wants him to live the life he chooses instead of the one his father wants for him because she wants him to be happy.

Alexis: Describe your story’s heroine Josie Daniels. What does she look like? Sound like? Act like?

Hope: Josie looks like a young Reese Witherspoon—long blond hair and green eyes. She’s mostly self-confident because she’s had to be—as the baby sister to three older brothers. She holds her own in a tag football game even when she gets knocked down. She has a heart for her community and for her brothers.

Alexis: What are Josie’s deepest dreams and greatest fears? Why?

Hope: She loves family and wants one of her own. She’s afraid of failure; therefore, she works hard at everything she does.

Alexis: Why does Josie act as the mother of her three brothers? What happened to their real mom?

Hope: Their mother is on a two-year mission trip with their father. Josie has moved into her family’s house to save rent money and to keep up the house while her parents are out of the country. She loves cooking and caring for her brothers.

Alexis: Why is Josie passionate about volunteering in her community?

Hope: She loves her community library and has fond memories of visiting it as a child with her mother. She wants the same positive experiences for the current young children of her neighborhood.

Alexis: How does Josie easily get over having a broken heart?

Hope: Getting over B.J. wasn’t easy, but time helped heal her broken heart. When the story opens, she’s several months into the healing process. Focusing on helping the library and mothering her brothers helped also.

Alexis: Describe your story’s hero Ches Windham. What does he look like? Sound like? Act like?

Hope: Ches looks like a young Victor Webster. He’s very uptight at the beginning of the story, but we see him loosen up as he gets to know Josie and her brothers. We see his carpentry/wood working talents at the community build. We see his musical talents at the piano. His humor grows through the story as his sadness begins to abate.

Alexis: What are Ches’s loftiest goals and most persistent challenges? Explain.

Hope: Before meeting Josie, his goal was to make partner in one of Charlotte’s biggest law firms to win his father’s approval. After meeting Josie, he begins to contemplate pursuing his own dreams which don’t include the law firm, but he hopes they may include Josie. Breaking free from his father’s expectations is his main challenge.

Alexis: Why does Josie make it her mission to help Ches find his true purpose?

Hope: Josie is a natural nurturer. She wants Ches to be happy. She wants to fix the problems she sees in his life. Although she doesn’t want to admit it, she’s attracted to him from the beginning.

Alexis: What is it about Josie that Ches loves? Why?

Hope: He loves her passion, her intellect, her humor, her food. He’s fascinated with her because she’s free and unfettered by other people’s expectations. She’s a good sport and rolls with most things that come along.

Alexis: Why does Josie try so hard to resist her growing attraction to Ches?

Hope: She resists her attraction because he has a girlfriend, and by all accounts it’s supposed to be a serious relationship. She also believes Ches has the same personality as her former boyfriend and doesn’t want to travel that path again.

Alexis: What drew Ches to a career in law and how does his livelihood affect his personal life?

Hope: Ches always tried to please his father who pushed him onto the law path. His father wanted Ches to succeed where he didn’t himself. Ches’s dissatisfaction with his career gives him the bleeding ulcer which leads to his career change.

Alexis: What role does family and tradition play in this story?

Hope: Family and tradition have huge roles in the story. Josie provides family meals for her brothers and schedules family calls with their out-of-the-country parents. She prepares favorite recipes for all the holidays.

Alexis: What do you want readers to remember most about Forever Music?

Hope: I love the interplay in the Daniels’ family. I hope people remember a feeling of love among the siblings whether they’re in their home or together bowling or volunteering.

Alexis: If you could step into this story as a guidance counselor and speak to Ches, what would you say?

Hope: Play music that makes you happy. Go your own path, not the one others choose for you.

Alexis: If you were Josie’s best friend, what would you say to her about her relationship with Ches?

Hope: I’d try to get her to see how she justified their outings. I’d try to help her see how her feelings were growing for him. I’d try to protect her from another bruised heart.

Alexis: If you could treat Ches and Josie to lunch, where would you go to eat? Why?

Hope: Ches would want to eat at Josie’s house. He loves her cooking, and he loves being in her house. If I had to choose a restaurant, however, I’d choose the Lamplighter. It was a real restaurant in Charlotte when my husband and I were dating. He took me there for my birthday and gave me a gold bangle bracelet I still wear.

Alexis: Thanks for the interview, Hope! Would you like to share closing thoughts?

Hope: Thank you so much for having me on your blog, Alexis! I love hearing from readers and hope they’ll connect with me on social media or through my website.

~*~
Author Bio:

Hope Toler Dougherty holds a Master’s degree and taught at East Carolina University and York Technical College.

Her novels include Irish Encounter and Mars…With Venus Rising, Rescued Hearts, and Forever Music. A member of ACFW and RWA, she lives in North Carolina.

She and her husband delight in visits with their daughters and twin sons.

~*~
Book blurb for Forever Music:

A battered heart needs healing.
A community needs rescuing.
A chartered course needs redirecting.

College history instructor, Josie Daniels is good at mothering her three brothers, volunteering in her community, and getting over broken hearts, but meeting aloof, hotshot attorney Ches Windham challenges her nurturing, positive-thinking spirit.

Josie longs to help Ches find his true purpose, but as his hidden talents and true personality emerge. Will she be able to withstand his potent charms, or will she lose her heart in the process?

A rising star in his law firm, Ches Windham is good at keeping secrets.

He’s always been the good son, following his father’s will to become an attorney and playing the game for a fast track to partnering with a law firm. Lately, though his life’s path has lost whatever luster it had—all because of his unlikely, and unacceptable, friendship with Josie. He struggles between the life he’s prepared for and the one calling to him now. Opposing his father has never been an option, and spending time with Josie can’t be one. The more he’s with her, however, the more he wants to be.

When a crisis tarnishes his golden future and secrets are revealed, Ches is forced to reexamine the trajectory of his life. Will he choose the path his father hammered out for him or the path that speaks to his heart?

~*~
Connect with Hope:
Website: https://hopetolerdougherty.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AUTHORHOPETOLERDOUGHERTY/
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/13941031.Hope_Dougherty
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/hopetdougherty/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/HopeTDougherty
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hopetolerdougherty/

~*~
Enter this book giveaway contest for your chance to WIN a copy of this book by filling out the entry form on the Rafflecopter widget below:

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Romantic Reads: A Date for Daisy

Welcome Tara Grace Ericson to the blog today!

She's here to talk about her new novel, A Date for Daisy.

Tara has graciously agreed to give away a copy of her story to the winner of the book giveaway contest! Enter the contest via the Rafflecopter widget that's located at the end of this blog post.

Happy reading!

~*~

Interview with Tara Grace Ericson about her book, A Date for Daisy:

Alexis: What inspired you to write this book?

Tara: This book was one of my favorites to write. The characters are strong and independent, but very different from one another, much like my (very loved) analytical-thinking husband and my more ‘free-spirited’ self! I wanted to write a story about characters like us, whose differences make them a better match, providing balance and encouraging growth. It’s not without its challenges, though, which the characters work through in the story.

Alexis: A Date for Daisy is the first book in The Bloom Sisters book series. What makes this series special to you?

Tara: More than my first series, The Bloom Sisters series is all about the family. I grew up with three older brothers, and the dynamics of a household with lots of siblings is so much fun to write. The family is close-knit, grounded in faith, and rooted deeply in the farm they love and work together.

Alexis: The opening line for your book blurb is hilarious! It reads, “He thinks she’s the captain of the Hot Mess Express.” Why does your story’s hero Lance think that about Daisy?

Tara: Daisy has her priorities, and organization is not one of them! Lance is very orderly and logical, and he has built a life and a business that leaves very little room for impulse decisions or off-the-wall ideas. When Daisy crashes (quite literally!) into his life, his first instinct is to back away slowly into his universe of lists and predictability.

Alexis: Why does Daisy Bloom who is the heroine of this story, think that Lance is too rigid?

Tara: Daisy lives in the moment, follows her whims, and searches for ways to channel her creative spirit into her world. It leaves little room for planning or schedules. To her, Lance’s structured world would mean giving up the flexibility and chaos she thrives within.

Alexis: What role does the renovation project play in bringing Daisy and Lance together?

Tara: Daisy is renovating an old house on the Bloom’s Farm property. Her previous contractor (Lance’s dad) has to have a knee replaced and is out of commission. Lance agrees to take over the project for his father.

Alexis: Did you, in real life, visit a bed and breakfast to scope out this story? If not, how did you do the research to write this book?

Tara: In college, my husband and I lived on the property of a bed and breakfast! In exchange for a rent-free apartment above the garage, we took care of the grounds, and occasionally checked in guests or threw sheets in the wash if the owners were busy. It was a pretty sweet deal for us, and it gave me some firsthand exposure to the reality of the innkeeper’s life. On the renovation side, my husband and I tackle renovations together. We’ve done two complete kitchen remodels and several bathrooms, basements, and flooring. Everything from electrical to plumbing so I was able to sprinkle realistic projects into Daisy and Lance’s schedule.

Alexis: How did Lance become a construction guru and business owner? Why is it his passion?

Tara: Lance’s father was a contractor and a single dad. Which meant Lance spent more time on a jobsite than off it. He grew to love the process as well, and built his own business. He loves taking something old and ugly and making it new. It reminds him of how God restores broken hearts and makes us new each morning.

Alexis: What is it about Daisy that Lance thinks is beautiful yet infuriating?

Tara: For someone straight-laced as Daisy, there is something magnetic about someone so vivacious and full of joy as Daisy. At the same time, she is impulsive and messy and it makes him crazy!

Alexis: What role does your characters’ individual faith in God play in this story? 

Tara: Both Lance and Daisy are being called to step out in faith. Lance, as someone who wants complete control, trusts God up to a point, but no further. As Daisy approaches the finish line with the renovation, obstacles make her doubt the call she was given. Through the story, each has their assumptions about God challenged and they have to trust him deeper in order to embrace their call and each other.

Alexis: What do you want readers to take away from this book?

Tara: I want readers to laugh and appreciate the complicated relationship of the characters. I want readers to fall in love with the Bloom Family as much as I have, and I want them to be encouraged that love is a daily choice, possible regardless of the differences we have with someone. I hope readers are encouraged by the steps of faith each character takes and how it blesses them.

Alexis: Now for the quick and fun questions in italics with your answers in plain font …

Starbucks or Subway? Starbucks.

Autumn or Winter? Autumn

Peaches or Nectarines? Peaches

Kindle or Paperback books? Both!

Country living or City? Country, but close enough to a city to go to Target 😉

Brownies or Pie? Brownies.

Who is your favorite Christian author? Francine Rivers or Becky Wade

What is your favorite book? The Mark of the Lion Series by Francine Rivers.

Alexis: Thanks for the interview, Tara! Do you have closing comments?

Tara: Thank you so much for having me!

~*~
Author Bio:

Tara Grace Ericson lives in Missouri with her husband and two sons. 

She studied engineering and worked as an engineer for many years before embracing her creative side to become a full-time author. 

She loves cooking, crocheting, and reading books by the dozen. Her writing partner is usually her black lab Ruby, and a good cup of coffee or tea. 

Tara unashamedly watches Hallmark movies all winter long, even though they are predictable and cheesy. She loves a good “happily ever after” with an engaging love story. That’s why Tara focuses on writing clean contemporary romance, with an emphasis on Christian faith and living. She wants to encourage her readers with stories of men and women who live out their faith in tough situations.

~*~
A Date for Daisy book blurb:

He thinks she’s the captain of the Hot Mess Express.
She thinks he’s rigid and wound too tight.
And this renovation is about to get complicated.

Daisy Bloom is determined to turn her 100-year-old house into a bed and breakfast. The only problem? She knows nothing about renovations.

Enter Lance Matthews, construction guru and business owner. He is determined to tackle this project with his usual methodical, organized approach. His only problem? The beautiful and infuriating homeowner -- deeply involved with the project and completely averse to lists, schedules, or any form of organization.

When sparks fly between these wildly different personalities, will they find common ground? Or does God have other plans for each of them?

~*~
Buy Tara's book on Amazon, B&N, or Eden

~*~
Connect with Tara:
My website: www.taragraceericson.com
Free Story/Newsletter Signup: www.taragraceericson.com/mailinglist.html
Facebook: www.facebook.com/taraericsonauthor
Instagram: www.instagram.com/taraericsonauthor
Twitter: www.twitter.com/taragraceauthor

~*~

Enter this book giveaway contest for your chance to WIN a copy of this book by filling out the entry form on the Rafflecopter widget below:

a Rafflecopter giveaway