Devotionals for the Heart: How God taught me to be more self-controlled

We All Have Smelly Words Sometimes
A devotional by Patti Schultz, Ed.D.

“Do everything without grumbling or arguing.”

—Philippians 2:14 (NIV)

There is a moment every parent knows. The moment before the words come out — that half-second when what we feel and what we're about to say are standing in the hallway together, and one of them needs to sit back down.

The Apostle Paul’s simple, almost laughably direct command in Philippians 2:14 is aimed right at that hallway: Do everything without grumbling or arguing. Everything. Even the homework battles. Even the spilled milk at 7 o’clock in the morning. Even the teenager who just rolled his eyes so hard you could hear it.

Before words become words, they are thoughts. And thoughts, like guests, need to be checked at the door. Not silenced, just screened. We should silently ask: Is what I'm about to say true? Is it kind? Is it necessary right now? That half-second pause is not weakness; it's the Holy Spirit doing His quiet, faithful work. Grumbling rarely starts loud. It begins as a murmur in the mind, a complaint rehearsed one too many times, until it walks right out the front door of our mouths and settles into the air around our children like a fog they can't quite name but can absolutely feel.

Here is a tender truth: Some of our words simply smell. They carry the odor of exhaustion, of unmet expectations, of fears we haven't handed to God yet. Grace is the deodorant. It doesn't pretend the smell isn't real; it transforms what goes out into the room. Before speaking to my child in a hard moment, I've learned to try breathing one honest prayer: Lord, let what comes out of me smell like You. A word laced with grace can correct without crushing. It can redirect without wounding. It can even say "no" in a way that feels like love because it is said from a place of care and compassion that lets the listener know they are loved.

Loving words are a currency we give, receive, and sometimes need to mop up from the floor. We give them when we choose encouragement over criticism, presence over distraction, saying “I'm proud of you” over silence. We receive them when our children speak their own brave truths to us and we resist the urge to defend or dismiss. And we mop them up on the days we get it wrong, which feels like most days for me, because parenting is not a performance. It is a long, imperfect act of love that keeps asking us to offer the same grace we so desperately need ourselves.

On the days I have already made a mess of it, when the words came out wrong and I know it, I found that going back is less scary than I thought. When I have to go back and mop up a harsh word, I try to do it with my whole self. Look them in the eye and say: “I was wrong, and you deserved better from me.” That is not weakness in front of your child. That is one of the greatest things they will ever see you do.

Philippians 2:14 is not a command to be cheerful at all costs. It is an invitation to carry our burdens without letting them become a burden on everyone around us. Somehow, in the middle of all that carrying, our kids are watching, not for perfection, but for what we do when we fall short. May they see in us someone who pauses in the hallway between what we feel and what we say…and chooses grace.

Let’s Pray:

Lord, set a gentle guard at my lips today. When I am tired and the words want to tumble out without kindness, slow me down. Let my thoughts pass through You before they reach my children. Where I have already spoken harm, give me the courage to go back and make it right. And in all the giving, receiving, and mopping up, let my children see not a perfect parent, but a loved and learning one. In Jesus’s name I pray. Amen.

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Song of Reflection #1: “Speak Life” by Toby Mac. Listen to it here.

Song of Reflection #2: “Words” by Hawk Nelson. Listen to it here.

Song of Reflection #3: “Slow Down” by Nichole Nordeman. Listen to it here.

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Author Bio:

Dr. Patti Schultz’s inspiring journey weaves a tapestry of compassion, resilience, and divine hope. 

Formerly a public school principal, professor, teacher, and interpreter for the deaf, she now dedicates her life to a heartfelt ministry rooted in her personal experiences.

As a mother to three miracle boys here on Earth and a member of a heavenly soccer team, Patti’s story is one of unwavering faith and profound love. Her decade-long battle with infertility and recurrent loss fuels her deep compassion for grieving mothers, guiding them toward healing through the comforting embrace of Jesus Christ’s garment.

Patti’s gentle wisdom offers a safe haven for women navigating pain, reminding them they are never alone. Through her ministry, she seeks to envelop grieving mothers in divine comfort, encouraging hope, renewal, and the reassurance that God's love is always near, wrapping them in His compassionate hem as they walk the path to healing.

Living in northern Michigan, she cherishes precious moments with family and community, drawing strength from faith and connection.

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Connect with Patti:
Website: pattischultz.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.pattischultz/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Dr.Patti.Schultz
Email: dr.patti.schultz@gmail.com