So much planning and preparation goes into these few weeks leading up to this world famous holiday. But sometimes amidst the hustle and bustle of preparing for Christmas dinner and celebrations with family and loved ones, is it possible that we forget what this holiday season is truly about?
Enter "How Not to Do Christmas," a holiday satire written by Raelee May Carpenter. It may shine a light into your life and cause you to think twice about how you celebrate this holiday season. Enjoy! :)
How Not To Do Christmas
A holiday satire written by Raelee May Carpenter
1. Spend money you don’t have to buy people things they don’t need. Even better, go into massive amounts of debt on expensive toys as a substitute for putting thought into the gifts you give. Maybe a home-cooked dinner at home with you is what your loved one really needs, but you don’t have time for that, so spend a month’s salary on a new entertainment system for them instead.
2. Spend days and months planning and tweaking every detail and decoration. Having trouble staying motivated toward holiday perfection? Make it your mantra, “This holiday will be ruined if it’s not perfect. This holiday will be ruined if it’s not absolutely perfect.” Record it and loop it in your sleep, so you can’t rest, and you never forget that the tiniest wrinkle in the gift wrap, the smallest speck of dust on the floor, or a single Christmas ornament out of place can completely destroy Christmas for your entire family, if not the whole world.
3. Eat yourself sick. You should avoid all fruits and vegetables for the whole month of December. Pumpkin and apple are okay, but only in pie form. You must consume at least 5000 calories worth of cakes and cookies everyday. You have to eat every bit of food you’re offered at every party and potluck, or you will destroy Christmas for the people who cooked every dish. If you aren’t constantly on the edge of vomiting from November to January, your holiday spirit is forfeit. If you aren’t a glutton for Christmas, you must not love Jesus.
4. Forget that Christmas is really about Jesus. Pretend it’s about toys, tinsel, food, and gift cards, anything but Emmanuel who was born in a barn so you could be free. Spend your time, energy, and focus on everything else. You can get back to Him after the holidays…or maybe after you get your tax return filed.
How To Do Christmas
1. Remember that God loves you. This time has been set aside to honor the greatest gift we ever could receive. Make that more important than anything else, at the Christmas season…and the rest of the year too.
Raelee May Carpenter is a Christian who writes novels, shorts, essays and poems. She writes about God's Grace. Raelee loves to work as a storyteller and entertainer and her passion is creating stories with deeper meaning, stories that tell people about the gospel Truth.
Connect with Raelee: