Devotionals for the Heart: When you are having a Blue Christmas

Are You Having a Blue Christmas?
A devotional by Joy Beless

“For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.”

—Isaiah 9:6 (NIV)

There are some memories that are etched in your mind forever. Those moments seem to hang in endless time.

One such memory for me was the holiday season in 1980. I was a freshman in college when I received a phone call during the week of Thanksgiving stating that my father, at age 49, had a massive heart attack. This seemed impossible for someone who was active and worked with his hands to fix everything. I’ll never forget sitting alone in the ICU waiting room, encouraging my mom and family to have a meal with friends on Thanksgiving Day. It was my turn to hold vigil and pray over my father, asking God to help him to make it through that day—and he did. He continued to recover through December, only to have triple bypass surgery shortly after Christmas.

I wish I could say that was the only holiday season marked with a hospital stay, life-threatening illness, or even death. But it wasn’t. And if we are honest, most of us have lived in the tension of a great loss, anxiety, estranged relationships, job loss, et cetera, during the holidays. The polarized internal emotions compete to see who will win. The dual playlist of “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” and “In the Bleak Midwinter” take turns playing over each other in grating succession. The repetitive question from the people around us asking, “Are you ready for Christmas?” echoes in your ear as you nod your head. But you don’t offer too much of an answer because you are aware that it is a nicety and not meant to be honestly answered.

Does this scenario sound familiar? If so, you are not alone. The season of Advent leading up to Christmas day is a season of waiting, watching, and hoping. The reality of this world does not measure up to the Christmas movies we binge-watch to numb our authentic—some good, some bad—circumstances that simply do not take a break during Christmastime in December. I would dare to say that instead, the season of Advent is an invitation to bring our reality into the waiting, watching, and hoping of the holiday season.

Several years ago, after an especially difficult November when I spent the night in the hospital with two different loved ones, I just couldn’t pretend to be cheery and bright. I gave myself permission not to be but rather understood more than ever the gift of Jesus Christ, who also entered our world as a baby born to a financially poor couple (Mary and Joseph) who lived in an occupied land before escaping as refugees to a foreign land. I didn’t need to put on a happy face for Jesus because He understood and met me in that place.

A few years ago, a friend introduced me to the concept of a “Blue Christmas Service,” which I was not familiar with. This is a service traditionally on or near the winter solstice—the year’s longest night—and with the use of candles, scripture, carols, and prayers, hold space for the weary burdens and griefs that do not take a break during December but rather seem to be out of place. It is a service that creates a sacred space to speak and name the dear one lost, the illness we suffered, the painful divorce, or the job loss that is loudly snuffing out any good cheer. As the service progresses and additional blue candles are lit, the light of our Savior, Jesus Christ, brings hope and comfort as we witness His presence with us.

Some people may wonder if this kind of celebration adds to the depressed feeling we are so desperately trying to chase away. My experience is that acknowledging our reality and complicated emotions in a community that understands (even if amongst strangers) allows me to release the pain and tears and perhaps, in a small way, makes room for the cheer I so deeply want to feel.

As Isaiah prophesied in the verses above, the darkness of the world is nothing new, but we have the light of our Savior shining through even into the darkest circumstances. Others feel alone in their grief, and when we light our candles together in acknowledgment of this, our souls feel a little lighter. We experience the love and understanding of our Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, and Prince of Peace.

Let’s Pray:

Heavenly Father, thank You for Your Word that reminds us you are familiar with our difficult circumstances and desire to minister to us through the Holy Spirit. We ask for comfort and peace that only comes through You, the Light of the World.

In Jesus’s Name I pray. Amen.

Song of Reflection #1: “Light A Candle” by AVALON. Listen to it here.

Song of Reflection #2: “Light of the World” by Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir. Listen to it here.

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Author Bio:

Joy Beless is a worshipper of God and lover of people. 

A practicing Spiritual Director, she is a speaker for retreats and conferences and facilitates guided solitude retreats at the family ranch in North Texas.

A seasoned worship leader and songwriter, she frequently weaves worship, God’s Word and spiritual practices together. She is a chapel provider for a shelter for the houseless and a certified Grief and Trauma Healing Facilitator. Serving at global retreats for Kingdom-minded women delights her soul.

She has written for Global Trellis and Missio Nexus. She connects God’s Word with the reality of our daily in all the ups and downs.

Joy is married to Roger. They live in Coppell (Texas). Joy is called "JoJo" by her nine adorable grandchildren. She enjoys the outdoors and encourages flowers to grow in the Texas heat.

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Connect with Joy:
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Website: www.joybeless.org