Tuesday, March 7, 2023

The story behind "Overcoming Father Wounds" (book) by Kia Stephens

Dear Reader of my "God is Love" blog,

Today, I'm featuring my author friend Kia Stephens on the release date (March 7, 2023) of her first published book, (Overcoming Father Wounds: Exchanging Your Pain for God's Perfect Love). It is traditionally published and available for purchase in bookstores and online.

Join me in wishing Kia a "Happy BOOK birthday" today!

Read on to discover why she wrote this book. 

Enter the giveaway contest at the end of this post for your chance to WIN a copy of Kia's book!

Happy reading!


Why Does God Allows Women to Have Father Wounds
A guest post by Kia Stephens

There was a season in my adult life where I felt betrayed by God. I could not understand why He created men and women with a desire to be fathered only to allow father wounds. It just didn’t make sense. How could a loving God allow it?

Prior to this time in my life I had not been angry with God. In fact, I tried (unsuccessfully) to follow all the rules. I went to church every Sunday and Wednesday. I didn’t curse, lie, cheat, drink, or steal. I did everything I thought I was supposed to do. Subconsciously, I began to view Christianity as a contractual relationship where my performance was payment for answered prayers. However, when my prayers went unanswered I became disillusioned with God.

He became a cruel manipulator, sitting high and crafting painful experiences at will. God knew I would struggle, spending years in a perpetual cyclone of low self-esteem, anger, lust, depression, shame, and guilt. Why didn’t He just step in to alter my life? He could have. God in His infinite power could supply every newborn baby girl with a loving father in an instant, but He doesn’t.


Does He not care?

Is He not concerned about the pain of millions of women (and men) all over the world? 

I was not the first person to ask these questions. It was a repackaged version of, “Why does God allow suffering?” Sickness? Death? Murder? Rape? Abuse? How can these horrible realities continue to persist in the presence of the Almighty God? Frustrated and questioning, I stepped into the ring and boxed with God for years.

I swung punches and He countered with gentleness. I blamed Him and He loved me unconditionally. The final bell sounded and I went to my corner, defeated by a compassionate God.

What I Learned:

● Christianity is not rule-worship and God can’t be pimped.

I am not a perfect Christian (That does not exist). I am flawed, broken, and in desperate need of a Savior. My relationship with Jesus Christ is a passionate expression of my gratitude for Him embracing a sinner like me. It is not a list of rules I follow with the expectation that Christ will do what I say in return. 

The Bible says in Galatians 2:20 (NIV): “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”

● Everyone has trouble (even fathered women).

In this life no one gets a pain pass. Even if a girl grows up with the love and affirmation of her father she will still have challenges to overcome. No one lives a life void of difficulties.

The Bible says in 
John 16:33 (NIV): "... In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." 

The Bible says in 
Matthew 5:45 (NIV): “...for He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.”

● Christ himself suffered for my sake (first).

If Christ bore rejection, shame, betrayal, loneliness, and pain beyond comprehension. How can I expect not to have my own share of suffering?

The Bible says in 
1 Peter 2:21 (NIV): "To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps."

● Suffering does not change the nature of God. Period.

God loves me infinitely. I cannot predicate His love for me on what He does or does not do.

The Bible says in 
Jeremiah 31:3 (NIV): “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.”

● God has the power to fill every void in a woman with father wounds.

The reality is, there are many things I will never do with my earthly dad. But I have the opportunity to spend a lifetime and eternity being loved by my Heavenly Father.

The Bible says in Psalm 27:10 (NIV): “Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me.”

● Suffering has a purpose.

My “why me” mentality has turned into a “why not me” outlook. If I had not experienced growing up without my father I would not be writing the very blog post you are reading today. There is purpose in my pain, and yours too.

I don’t know what your fatherless experience has been but I do know none of your tears will be wasted! God will take the broken pieces of your life and make them a beautiful portrait for others to view. You were not fathered for a purpose that only God knows. I encourage you to take your boxing gloves off, step out of the ring and allow God to be the Father you long for.

The Bible says in Romans 8:28 (NIV):
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those (fatherless daughters) who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

Author Bio:

Kia Stephens is the founder of Entrusted Women, which she created to equip Christian women communicators of color. 

A contributing writer for iBelieve.com, Beloved Women, Proverbs 31 Ministries, and Crosswalk, she is a recurring speaker at She Speaks, the Beloved Women's Conference, and the Entrusted Women's Conference. 

Kia's writing has been featured on (in)courage and Ann Voskamp's blog. She has also been a featured guest on the Proverbs 31 Ministries Podcast, Chrystal's Chronicles with Chrystal Evans Hurst, Better Together with Barb Roose, and The Dream of You Podcast with Jo Saxton.

Here's what people are saying about Kia’s book:

"There's something remarkable about the way a person's pain can be transformed into purpose. In Overcoming Father Wounds, Kia Stephens speaks from the faded scars of her own story and is a compassionate guide to all who carry father wounds of their own. Kia's book is both personal testimony and practical treatise; her words offer hope and healing. Words that help us discover the power of a heavenly Father's love." Jo Saxton, leadership coach and author of Ready to Rise

"Kia has given us a powerful, gospel-soaked healing balm for everyone who knows the pain of father wounds. In Overcoming Father Wounds, she helps us identify them, heal from them, and shift our mindset to hope and health. This is a must-read!" Alli Worthington, author, speaker, and founder of The Coach School

"This book is going to help so many women--coming from complicated relationships with fathers to deeply painful ones. Even Daddy's girls like me didn't escape unintentional wounding. You'll be highlighting this one and buying a copy for a friend." Lisa Whittle, bestselling author of The Hard Good, Bible teacher, and podcast host

"Kia Stephens's voice is one that is needed now. She writes with compassion, wisdom, and vulnerability, leading women into the tender places of their own hearts. With deep insight, Kia takes the reader's hand and walks her into the truth--you can face the wounds you received, in the light of a loving Father who is better than you dared to hope. Healing is available. Read this book and Kia will show you the way." Stasi Eldredge, New York Times bestselling author of Captivating

Words from Kia and her publicist:

The world is full of women who have been hurt, neglected, rejected, or abandoned by their father. They may feel like every aspect of their life is affected by that broken trust. Even their relationship with God can feel tenuous, but there is hope.

In this vulnerable book, Overcoming Father Wounds: Exchanging Your Pain for God’s Perfect Love, author and speaker Kia Stephens shares her own story of father wounds, along with eye-opening examples from wounded women in Scripture who were transformed by the love of God.

With great compassion, she helps readers identify their father wounds and offers practical tools to help them overcome insecurity, low self- esteem, perfectionism, and trouble connecting with God as their loving heavenly father.

“The good news is, for every woman who’s ever contemplated what it would be like to have a different father, whether real or imagined, there is an exchange that is possible...the type of swap I’m referring to is an uneven exchange of father wounds for the extravagant love of God the father,” says Stephens.

Women who read this book will:

-Identify ways they have been impacted by their father daughter relationship

–Identify lies they believed because of the hurt and rejection from their father

-Identify scriptures to refute the lies they have believed
-Gain practical tools for forgiving their father

-Identify helpful ways to develop a relationship with God as their spiritual father.

Buy Kia’s book on: Amazon or BAM! 

Connect with Kia:
Facebook Author page: https://www.facebook.com/KiaNicolStephens/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/KiaNStephens
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kianstephens/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/KiaStephens

Enter this book giveaway contest for your chance to WIN a copy of this book by filling out the entry form on the Rafflecopter widget below: 

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