I Chased Success and Found Emptiness
A guest post by Dr. Gladys Childs
Have you ever chased something you thought would make life more full, only to realize it was quietly draining the life out of you?
I have.
A few years ago, I stood at a crossroads that looked impressive from the outside. I was serving as Chair of the Religion Department. I loved my students. I loved the rhythm of teaching. Summers gave me space to breathe and time to be present with my son. My life felt full in the right ways.
Then the Provost approached me about stepping in as Interim Dean of the School of Arts & Letters. I had not been campaigning for it, but the invitation stirred something old in me: leadership, influence, and impact. My husband and I prayed, talked late into the night, and finally decided to try it. We told ourselves it was temporary. If it did not fit, I could step away.
At first, I convinced myself it was working. I avoided the political games of Dean’s Council and met with each dean one-on-one instead. I hired an executive coach. I launched initiatives that protected programs and strengthened morale. On paper, everything looked successful.
But my body told a different story.
I stopped sleeping well. I ate standing up between meetings. My inbox felt like a living thing that multiplied overnight. I would sit in my car before walking into the building and feel a tightness in my chest I could not pray away in five minutes.
Then one afternoon, in the middle of class, a student looked at me and asked, "Do you even want this job?"
The room went still. I said yes. My voice cracked. And in that crack, I heard the truth. I did not want it. I was exhausted. I was slowly disappearing behind a title.
When the permanent dean search opened, everything intensified. Complicated dynamics made applying feel less like ambition and more like escape. I told myself that if I just secured the position, the chaos would settle. The stress would make sense. The sacrifice would be worth it.
I made it to the final three candidates. Then the whispers started. A small group of faculty spread rumors. There were threats of a no-confidence vote against the Provost if I were chosen. What had once felt like an opportunity began to feel like a trap closing in. The Provost called me in and asked me to stay another year as interim, with assurances the permanent role would follow. I sat there, listening, feeling the weight of expectation pressing on my ribs.
And I remembered the words from months earlier. "If you do not like it, you can walk away. You do not need this." So I said, "No." Shock flickered across faces. Some were angry. Others confused. The very people who opposed me celebrated. But when the word left my mouth, something shifted inside me. The tightness eased. I walked out of that building lighter thjan I had felt in months. The “no” was not a failure. It was freedom.
In the quiet that followed, I began to see how subtly I had started chasing fullness in the wrong place. I chose the weight of control over trusting God’s ability to handle any situation. I had carried a weight Jesus Christ never asked me to shoulder. His words in Matthew 11:28–30 came alive in a way they never had before: "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."
I had been yoked to something else. No wonder I was worn thin.
As I stepped back into a simpler rhythm, I began to notice what had been missing. Peace that did not depend on outcomes. Joy that did not rise and fall with performance. Patience returned when I was no longer grasping for control. The fruit of the Spirit described in Galatians 5:22–23 was not something I could manufacture through work or control. It grew when I stopped striving.
That season reshaped me. It exposed how easy it is to chase the illusion of security while quietly running on empty. And that is why I wrote my new devotional book: Chasing Emptiness, Finding Fullness: A 45-Day Journey to Spiritual Abundance.
This devotional was born out of lived surrender. It is not a call to try harder. It is an invitation to slow down long enough to notice what we are really chasing and to let the Holy Spirit cultivate what lasts. Each day focuses on one aspect of His fruit, not as a checklist, but as evidence of a life rooted in Him.
If you have ever lain awake rehearsing tomorrow’s demands, wondering why success feels thinner than you expected, you are not alone. If you have smiled through meetings while feeling hollow inside, you are not crazy. And if you suspect God is inviting you to loosen your grip on something impressive, that nudge may be mercy.
Saying no to the corner office did not shrink my life. It redirected it. It opened space for writing, for hosting my tv show, Bare Faith, for walking with others who stand at their own crossroads.
Fullness is not found at the top of a ladder. It is found at the feet of Jesus.
So let me ask you gently: What are you still saying yes to that God never asked you to carry?
The chase can end. And in Christ, true fullness can begin.
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Author Bio:
Dr. Gladys Childs hosts the TV show Bare Faith, where raw faith and deep pain meet a relentless God.
Known as the "Truth Doctor," she names the lies standing between people and God’s truth.
A pastor’s wife, author, speaker, former religion professor, and boy mom, Gladys, speaks with authority, heart, and real-life grit.
Her new book, Chasing Emptiness, Finding Fullness, offers practical guidance, Scripture, and encouragement to live fully in God’s abundance. Learn more at gladyschilds.com. Follow on Instagram or Facebook.
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Blurb for Chasing Emptiness, Finding Fullness:
Stop chasing what leaves you empty. Discover the spiritual abundance only God provides.
Feeling drained by the pursuit of approval, success, or endless busyness? Chasing Emptiness, Finding Fullness: A 45-Day Journey to Spiritual Abundance is a daily Christian devotional rooted in Galatians 5:22–23. This 45-day Bible study blends short, impactful devotionals with reflective journaling to cultivate the Fruit of the Spirit—love, joy, peace, and other biblical virtues—guiding Christian women and men to deeper faith and spiritual self-help.
With this Christian devotional, you’ll: deepen your faith with daily Scripture and Christian meditations, overcome anxiety and spiritual dryness with practical steps, and grow in biblical virtues through inspiring journaling prompts.
Perfect for Christian women and men seeking spiritual self-help, this devotional leads to the abundant life God intends. Get Chasing Emptiness, Finding Fullness today, and unleash the joy of God’s abundant love!
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