Devotionals for the Heart: How God taught me to be more self-controlled

We All Have Smelly Words Sometimes
A devotional by Patti Schultz, Ed.D.

“Do everything without grumbling or arguing.”

—Philippians 2:14 (NIV)

There is a moment every parent knows. The moment before the words come out — that half-second when what we feel and what we're about to say are standing in the hallway together, and one of them needs to sit back down.

The Apostle Paul’s simple, almost laughably direct command in Philippians 2:14 is aimed right at that hallway: Do everything without grumbling or arguing. Everything. Even the homework battles. Even the spilled milk at 7 o’clock in the morning. Even the teenager who just rolled his eyes so hard you could hear it.

Before words become words, they are thoughts. And thoughts, like guests, need to be checked at the door. Not silenced, just screened. We should silently ask: Is what I'm about to say true? Is it kind? Is it necessary right now? That half-second pause is not weakness; it's the Holy Spirit doing His quiet, faithful work. Grumbling rarely starts loud. It begins as a murmur in the mind, a complaint rehearsed one too many times, until it walks right out the front door of our mouths and settles into the air around our children like a fog they can't quite name but can absolutely feel.

Here is a tender truth: Some of our words simply smell. They carry the odor of exhaustion, of unmet expectations, of fears we haven't handed to God yet. Grace is the deodorant. It doesn't pretend the smell isn't real; it transforms what goes out into the room. Before speaking to my child in a hard moment, I've learned to try breathing one honest prayer: Lord, let what comes out of me smell like You. A word laced with grace can correct without crushing. It can redirect without wounding. It can even say "no" in a way that feels like love because it is said from a place of care and compassion that lets the listener know they are loved.

Loving words are a currency we give, receive, and sometimes need to mop up from the floor. We give them when we choose encouragement over criticism, presence over distraction, saying “I'm proud of you” over silence. We receive them when our children speak their own brave truths to us and we resist the urge to defend or dismiss. And we mop them up on the days we get it wrong, which feels like most days for me, because parenting is not a performance. It is a long, imperfect act of love that keeps asking us to offer the same grace we so desperately need ourselves.

On the days I have already made a mess of it, when the words came out wrong and I know it, I found that going back is less scary than I thought. When I have to go back and mop up a harsh word, I try to do it with my whole self. Look them in the eye and say: “I was wrong, and you deserved better from me.” That is not weakness in front of your child. That is one of the greatest things they will ever see you do.

Philippians 2:14 is not a command to be cheerful at all costs. It is an invitation to carry our burdens without letting them become a burden on everyone around us. Somehow, in the middle of all that carrying, our kids are watching, not for perfection, but for what we do when we fall short. May they see in us someone who pauses in the hallway between what we feel and what we say…and chooses grace.

Let’s Pray:

Lord, set a gentle guard at my lips today. When I am tired and the words want to tumble out without kindness, slow me down. Let my thoughts pass through You before they reach my children. Where I have already spoken harm, give me the courage to go back and make it right. And in all the giving, receiving, and mopping up, let my children see not a perfect parent, but a loved and learning one. In Jesus’s name I pray. Amen.

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Song of Reflection #1: “Speak Life” by Toby Mac. Listen to it here.

Song of Reflection #2: “Words” by Hawk Nelson. Listen to it here.

Song of Reflection #3: “Slow Down” by Nichole Nordeman. Listen to it here.

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Author Bio:

Dr. Patti Schultz’s inspiring journey weaves a tapestry of compassion, resilience, and divine hope. 

Formerly a public school principal, professor, teacher, and interpreter for the deaf, she now dedicates her life to a heartfelt ministry rooted in her personal experiences.

As a mother to three miracle boys here on Earth and a member of a heavenly soccer team, Patti’s story is one of unwavering faith and profound love. Her decade-long battle with infertility and recurrent loss fuels her deep compassion for grieving mothers, guiding them toward healing through the comforting embrace of Jesus Christ’s garment.

Patti’s gentle wisdom offers a safe haven for women navigating pain, reminding them they are never alone. Through her ministry, she seeks to envelop grieving mothers in divine comfort, encouraging hope, renewal, and the reassurance that God's love is always near, wrapping them in His compassionate hem as they walk the path to healing.

Living in northern Michigan, she cherishes precious moments with family and community, drawing strength from faith and connection.

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Connect with Patti:
Website: pattischultz.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.pattischultz/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Dr.Patti.Schultz
Email: dr.patti.schultz@gmail.com

Devotionals for the Heart: Self-control

Self-control
A devotional by Allison M. Wilson

Key Scripture: Galatians 5:22-23 and Proverbs 25:3 (NASB)

I’ve really struggled with this last fruit of the Spirit. Not only in application in my life, but in writing this blog post. I have this deep sense that self-control means much more than we realize on the surface, yet, I must not be at a point where God’s ready to reveal it.

I’ve been praying about this fruit for some time. The other blogs have flowed pretty well, with lots of thoughts and ideas swirling around before I sit down to write. This one, however, has just sat in my mind…self-control.

The other fruit have shown us that we can not manifest them through fleshly initiative for long. They are all part of the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. They are a result of a surrendered life. Self-control must be the same, right? So, if all of the fruit are a result, how does self come into this? How can my flesh, or self, gain any kind of real control?

Proverbs 25:3 tells us that it’s to God’s glory to conceal a matter and to the glory of kings to seek it out. God doesn’t play hide and seek to be malicious or sly. He wants to know we are desiring to hear more from Him, to go more deeply. That requires a seeking out on our parts.

A quick search of the Scriptures says that the word “self-control” isn’t used in the Old Testament, only in the New Testament. Interesting! Another piece of information is that the word is only used from Acts on. I think we’re getting somewhere!

With the knowledge that self-control was talked about in the Word only after the Holy Spirit was given to believers, there’s definitely a connection. My question about how self plays into this still remains, but a thought is starting to form.

We see Jesus in the wilderness being tempted. It’s a relatively short story in the Scriptures, with enormous ramifications. Until recently, I really didn’t think about what it was like for Him to have the enemy tempt Him with food, though I think that was likely the hardest to resist. He had been without food for 40 days. I know someone who has been called to a 40 day fast several times in his life. He’s told me that it is the most difficult thing he’s ever done, and when he is able to eat, his mind wants to eat everything in sight! That’s the point to which Jesus had gotten when He was told to make a stone into bread, which is something that is incredibly simple for the Creator to do.

Gethsemane is another place we see the Lord suffering under stress to the point of sweating out blood. So much was going on with His flesh, that it was pushing blood out of His pores. That’s something few people can say they have experienced.

During both of these overwhelming trials, Jesus did not sin. He did not give in to what His flesh, self, wanted, though it was a severe struggle. He exhibited the self-control that I believe the Scriptures may be talking about in Galatians. The wrestling with what I want, versus what I know the Spirit wants. The surrender of my will to One who has done the same to His Father. Giving up my right to be right, in order to be right with Him.

Perhaps I’m getting to the point of God illuminating this more for me. I’ll just have to seek it out. Are you willing to do the same?

Let's Pray: Dear Daddy (Father God in Heaven), You have redefined so many words as You have conformed my thoughts to those of You. This word is no different. Show me what You want me to see about myself and my walk with You, as Your Spirit guides me into all truth. In Jesus’s Name, I pray, Amen.

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Author Bio:

A very early reader and lover of the written word, Allison M. Wilson has been writing since the age of eight with the heart to impart stories and God's truth.

She has judged countless contests for the last 25 years, reviewed for several online publications, professionally edited, and written articles and devotionals.

Wife, mother, writer, editor, teacher, mentor, and mompreneur, God keeps her busy while living in east central Florida with her family.

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Connect with Allison:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/allisonmwilson
Twitter: https://twitter.com/amwilson