Making Space for Godly Relationships
A devotional by Christine Monteiro
“A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold.”—Proverbs 22:1 (NIV)
I've read Proverbs 22:1 many times but it never clicked until I experienced it myself.
I used to think that, over time, people will get over anything that ruined your name, and your name will be restored. Maybe that is true when you’re in a larger audience, such as in social media where people will forget quickly when other news fills their feed. But not when you are in a smaller community, meeting people on a daily basis. In those type of environments, it will take a while to make people forget. I asked myself, “What's the cost of keeping your name clean when no one else sees the dirt thrown at it?” It was hard to justify yourself when there were not many witnesses.
About a year ago, I was so disappointed and angry when I thought I had lost a friend. I lost a friendship and I had no idea what I had done for it to end. But eventually, I was okay with it, until I found out what was going on behind my back—that person backstabbing and undermining, manipulating people, and spreading lies. I started to regret that I ignored many red flags from the beginning. My vulnerability innocently led to this pity party friendship, and I thought I could help her out of the pit she was facing. But I was wrong. I wish someone had warned me. It was too late. When the betrayal happened, I was mad at God for letting this embarrassment happen to me. It jeopardized my profession as a coach and my good name.
At first, I felt stupid—like I had been gaslighted, blindsided by someone I thought was a friend. But the betrayal didn't break me, it woke me up. When I chose to leave the relationship, that gave me room to do more things. I became more productive and focused on my future. There was no more room for people who leave me feeling emotionally drained. I had more clarity and more energy. I was finally free to thrive without feeling drained. My pain turned into purpose.
One morning as I was spending quiet time with God, I opened my Bible and a verse caught my attention. 1 Corinthians 15:33 (NASB) says “Do not be deceived: Bad company corrupts good morals.” I started to reflect on the relationship I had. Reading that verse gave me a sense of deliberation. I was grateful to finally be out of a toxic relationship. I am done with joining the party of gossiping and slandering people.
I asked God for forgiveness for what I did. I am glad that we have a merciful God who taught me that my name—my character, integrity, peace—was worth more than trying to explain myself to many people, to someone who only wanted control. I stayed quiet and guarded myself. Instead of walking around defending myself, I stayed close to God for my healing process. The most important lesson I learned from this is to wake up daily with purpose. Peace from God gives me the strength to make it through every day.
I learned that I don’t owe everyone access to my life and walking away from what’s toxic isn’t weakness, it’s wisdom. My good name doesn’t come from what others say about me. It comes from who I am when God refines my story. When God is on your side no one can be against you (Romans 8:31).
Let’s Pray:
Dear Father in Heaven, thank You so much for your love and how You have created humankind in your image. I know that You love me for who I am. Only You alone can define me and clear my name because no one could do that. Because you’ve created me according to your image, I know I am worthy in your eyes. Help me to remember my true identity in Jesus Christ. Remind me of my worth as one of your Daughters. Bless me with wisdom in my daily life so I can discern how to choose the right companions—people who will help me grow and draw closer to You every day. Help me to remind myself that my worth is in You and not in this world. In Jesus’s Name, I pray. Amen.
Song of Reflection #1: “Friend of God” by Israel Houghton. Listen to it here.
Song of Reflection #2: “What A Friend” by Brian Doerksen. Listen to it here.
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Author Bio:
Christine Monteiro is a certified transformative coach, writer, and keynote speaker who is passionate about helping others navigate the complexities of purpose, personal growth, and resilience.
Christine Monteiro is a certified transformative coach, writer, and keynote speaker who is passionate about helping others navigate the complexities of purpose, personal growth, and resilience.
Christine’s journey to becoming a coach started four years ago, following the loss of her husband to brain cancer. That experience left her feeling as though she had lost her purpose—a feeling she deeply understands in clients who she works with now. Through self-discovery and training, Christine found the missing pieces in her life and regained her purpose and drive that now motivates her to help others.
Christine coaches her clients from all walks of life—from young adults to retirees—helping them to embrace change, set meaningful goals, and confidently pursue their dreams. She has received training through Creative Results Management and holds credentials from the International Coaching Federation (ICF). Christine also has certifications in Positive Psychology and Mental Health Coaching from Yale and Light University. Her diverse approach to coaching her clients combines empathy with strategic insight, helping them to navigate every stage of life.
When she writes, Christine likes to focus on topics like finding purpose, coping with grief, and achieving personal transformation. As she writes, Christine draws from her own experiences as a single mom and empty nester. She enjoys sharing these insights on various platforms to reach a wider audience and foster community support.
When not coaching or writing, Christine spends her time sipping black coffee and swimming in the pool. She has found that having three independent children gives her a privilege to have a lot of “me time” that she didn’t have when they were growing up.
