Devotionals for the Heart: Marriage

Marriage on My Mind
A devotional by Ginger Solomon

“Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies.” 

– Proverbs 31:10 (NLT)

I have weddings/marriage on the brain. My third child will marry his love in just over a week from the date of this post. And I can happily say that I love his choice. She is a “virtuous and capable” woman, and definitely “more precious than rubies.” I believe she will make my son a wonderful wife.

But I know they’ll have fights, disagreements, and issues. While they are religiously in sync, their backgrounds are varied. You see my son is white, but my future daughter-in-law is black. 

Even in today’s diverse society, people feel they have the right to make inappropriate comments about their relationship.

They will have the same troubles as the rest of us. Money, sex, children, dinner, chores, and the list goes on and on. We fight.

My husband says there’s only one surefire way to never have trouble with a spouse. Don’t get married. And it’s the truth. We are all selfish creatures – some more than others. Living with someone else is hard.

It’s one of the reasons my website sports the tagline, “Finding faith when your bed of roses includes thorns.” Marriage is not a bed of roses unless you include the thorns. Nor is it “as easy as pie.” Of course, I’ve never met a pie that’s easy, so maybe it is. LOL

In the end, the fights and disagreements don’t matter. Their relationship is what matters. With each other, but more importantly with God. A pastor once gave an illustration that stuck with me. He drew a triangle (point up). Here's one example of it from Google Images:

Man is in one lower corner. Woman is at the opposite bottom corner. God is at the top. As the man and the woman grow closer to God, they grow closer to each other. That’s not to say there aren’t bumps in the road or a slide toward the bottom now and again, but it’s a good picture to remember.

I leave you with this from Genesis 2:18-24 (NLT): 

The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

~*~
Author Bio:

Ginger Solomon is a Christian, a wife, a mother to seven, and a writer—in that order (mostly). 

She writes or reads inspirational romance of any genre, and if she’s busy homeschooling, doing laundry, or fixing dinner, books are on her mind.

She’s a member of American Christian Fiction Writers (ACFW), president of her local writing group, and blogs regularly for InspyRomance.com and at gingersolomon.com.

Devotionals for the Heart: Love Month, Agape Love and Empathy

One love: Embracing ‘love month’ with agape compassion and empathy
A devotional by Jessica Brodie

Ah, the mythology of retail—especially this time of year. Stores start rolling out the hearts, candy, and mushy cards right after Christmas, and you can’t turn on the radio or flip through a magazine without being bombarded by jewelry-store ads trying to convince us that “nothing says I love you like diamonds.”

It’s like one big month of affection and adoration all wrapped up in dollar signs. You really can’t escape it. Most people I know spend late January or early February grumbling about so-called invented holidays or stocking up on dark chocolate and red and pink décor. Either you roll with it or resist it.

I’ve come to look at February—or as I like to call it, Love Month—as a time to celebrate all kinds of love, not just romantic. So while my husband and I do flowers and sweet trinkets (gotta keep fanning those flames), it’s also a golden opportunity for me and my family to let everyone in our world know how much they mean to us. My kids, along with all their classmates, exchange candy-laden greetings at school. My girlfriends and I swap sweet love-ya-lady messages.

“Love” and “God” are one for me. John the Evangelist defines the very essence of God as love (1 John 4:8). And in that vein, I think it’s no coincidence that Black History Month—a time to honor the achievements of African Americans, many whose great works were ignored for centuries simply because of the color of their skin—shares this season. Love means love for all, not just our families and friends. I repeat, all. Sometimes love involves acknowledging the pain of things in the distant or near past. Sometimes it’s compassion. Empathy. Kindness.

Jesus gave us two commandments that take precedence over everything: to love God with every ounce of our being, and to love others as ourselves (Matthew 22:36-40). We’ve known this for two thousand years now. Why, then, are our cities and communities still rife with racial tension and hate? If we strive to be Christian, that means we are committing ourselves to be Jesus-followers. And we cannot follow the Christ without following His commands. “Love others” doesn’t just mean love your spouse or your inner circle, or love people who look or sound just like you. “Love others” means stepping outside our comfortable societal-imposed boundaries to view the world through a God lens: the understanding that in Christ we are all children of God.

One of my favorite verses is from Paul’s letter to the Galatians: “For all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (3:26-28 NIV). We’re in this together. It doesn’t matter what we look like on the outside, what color our skin is, or what language we speak. It doesn’t matter if we’re young or old or male or female. One means one. One body, one Spirit, one God—all of us wrapped up together.

As you prepare for this year’s Valentine’s extravaganza, even you skeptics out there, I encourage you to push yourself beyond the boundaries of what we’d traditionally call love and heed our call to love all people as God loves us: with benevolence, concern, and goodwill. Love the homeless person on the corner. Love the snotty salesclerk. Love the driver who cuts you off in traffic. Put yourself in their shoes. See the world in their eyes. Try to feel their pain and their frustration for a moment, and watch how it changes you.

Maybe nothing says, “I love you” like diamonds for some. But for me, I’d much rather say I love you in more meaningful ways: by truly seeing another person, by cultivating a generous and empathetic heart, by seeking God first in my thoughts and actions toward others, and by cultivating kindness and compassion.

One love, one God, now and forever.

~*~
Author bio: 

Jessica Brodie is a Christian author, journalist, editor, blogger, and writing coach. 

She is the editor of the South Carolina United Methodist Advocate (AdvocateSC.org), the oldest continuously published newspaper in Methodism. 

Learn more about her fiction and read her blog at http://jessicabrodie.com/.

14 Days of Sweet Stories: "Home At Last" by Deborah Raney

Interview with Deborah Raney, author of Home At Last:

Alexis: What inspired you to write this book? 

Deborah: God sees and loves all of His children equally. And He has called us to love one another the way He loves us. Right now, we’re not doing a very good job of it in this country (The United States of America) and in this world. And that breaks my heart. If my writing can be one drop of water in a flood of love that brings healing, then I will feel my work was worthwhile.

Alexis: What can you tell us about your hero (Link Whitman)? Describe his looks, personality and heart for the heroine.

Deborah: Link is the fun-loving little brother in a big, boisterous family. His older sisters dote on him. His only brother, a U.S. Marine, died a hero, and Link lives somewhat in his shadow.

Alexis: What can you tell us about your heroine (Shayla Michaels)? Describe her looks, personality and heart for the hero.

Deborah: Shayla is a product of her parents’ loving, but difficult interracial marriage. She struggles to discover who she is, in her own right, but also in Christ. She’s been saddled with the huge burden (but also joy) of raising her niece and caring for her father after her mother’s death.

This is how I pictured my characters: 

Alexis: What brings Link and Shayla together? Do they like each other at first? Why or why not?

Deborah: Shayla has met Link before (and likes him very much), but doesn’t realize at first that it’s him when they meet again on an icy morning after Link almost runs over her niece with his truck!

Alexis: What does Link not like about his life as a bachelor? Does he have issues with him being the only single person in his immediate family? Explain.

Deborah: Link is definitely starting to feel the pressure from his sisters and family. He would like to be married and have what his siblings have—love and family—but he’s not willing to rush into anything just to satisfy his sisters’ matchmaking whims.

Alexis: What role does Chicory Inn play in this story?

Deborah: The Chicory Inn is symbolic of the warmth of home, the love of family, and the coming together in Christ of many diverse people. It is the setting of two weddings in Home At Last, and it has been, of course, Link’s childhood home.

Alexis: Shayla is biracial with an African American Dad and a White American Mom. Was it challenging for you to write her character? Why or why not?

Deborah: Just as it is when I write any character who is different from me—whether in gender, age, occupation, economic status, religion, or race—it is a challenge to assume the point of view of someone very different from yourself. I know that I’d better do my homework if my character is to be believable. When I write from a male character’s point of view, I often holler down to my husband, “Is this something you would say? How would you feel if…?” Or if I’m writing a character who’s closer in age to my kids than to me, I’ll shoot them an e-mail and ask, “How would you say this? What word would you use?” Of course, knowing a wide variety of people, having watched a ton of movies and read a ton of books, I’ve learned a lot about people who are different from me. But I admit I’m surprised by how often I guess the answer wrong to those questions!

Writing a biracial character was no different. I’ve never experienced being biracial, and I’ve never been in an interracial relationship. So I did what I do with every novel: I found real people to interview who have experienced those things. I also asked them to read my finished manuscript and to be very honest about whether I was writing realistically or if I’d gone off track.

Alexis: Why is the maternal side of Shayla’s family so hostile to Shayla?

Deborah: The simple answer is: sin. Perhaps it began as fear, or an unwillingness to learn to know someone different from them. But the bottom line is that they let the sins of of racism and hate infect their family, and Shayla and her family suffered because of it.

Alexis: Why did the paternal side of Shalya’s family embrace her but her maternal side did not?

Deborah: Racism seems to be one of those “sins of the fathers…visited upon the children…” kinds of sins. My own parents taught us to love all people. They treated everyone the same, and it seemed to just come naturally to follow their example. But sadly, for children who grew up in homes where hate and racism ruled, they leave home with those same ugly attitudes and judgments—and worse, they pass them down to their own children. 

Alexis: Shayla’s had a rough life. How did you as the author, use her pain to propel her into her purpose?

Deborah: I’ve learned in my own life that God can take our pain and turn it into something useful, make us teachable, make us compassionate. Turn ashes into beauty. I wanted that kind of redemption for Shayla.

Alexis: What role does your characters’ faith in God play in this story? Explain.

Deborah: I usually write about how faith makes a difference in my characters’ reactions to the trials and tragedies of life. In my own life, God has made all the difference, so I want to explore that phenomenon through my characters as well. 

Alexis: What role does the bakery, “Coffee’s On” play in this story?

Deborah: As the Chicory Inn business is a backdrop for Link’s life and home, so the bakery is the backdrop for Shay’s life. She’s practically grown up there and can’t imagine any other way of living.

Alexis: What makes Shayla and Link fall in love?

Deborah: They discover that they have much more in common than they have differences. They genuinely respect each other. And they genuinely like each other. They make each other laugh. And they’ve each learned some important truths about life from the other.

Alexis: What challenges do Shayla and Link face when they go out on dates as an interracial couple?

Deborah: Until Jesus returns and the New Heaven and New Earth are established, there will always be jerks on this earth. And each of us is likely to cross paths with a jerk or two in our lives. Shayla and Link, because of the differences in their outward appearance, run into more than their share. But as they grow into God’s calling for them to be together, they also begin to notice the positive reactions of some people who encourage and cheer them on, despite the challenges. 

Alexis: What’s the moral of the story?

Deborah: The entirety of God’s Word, from Genesis to Revelation is a story of redemption and reconciliation! Christ’s death on the cross, which reconciled us to God, is the essence of the love we should have for one another. If we all lived and walked in His love, reconciliation would happen every minute of the day.

Alexis: Complete this sentence: My favorite part about writing this story was __________________ because __________________________.

Deborah: My favorite part about writing this story was the love story between Link and Shayla, and how they became “parents” to Portia because love makes the world go ‘round! I love exploring the intricacies of family life and the beauty of godly romance between a man and a woman.

Alexis: Thanks for the interview, Deborah! Do you have any final comments?

Deborah: Thank you for the great questions, and for giving me a chance to talk about my series and this newest book in particular!

~*~
Author bio: 

Deborah Raney's first novel, A Vow to Cherish, inspired the World Wide Pictures film of the same title and launched Deb’s writing career. 

Twenty years and thirty books later, she's still writing. She and her husband traded small-town life in Kansas, the setting of many of Deb’s novels, for life in the city of Wichita. They love traveling to visit four grown children and seven grandchildren who all live much too far away. 

Visit Deb on the Web at www.deborahraney.com.

~*~
Blurb for Deborah's book, Home at Last: Link Whitman has settled into the role of bachelor without ever intending to. Now he’s stuck in a dead-end job and, as the next Whitman wedding fast approaches, he is the last one standing. The pressure from his sisters’ efforts to play matchmaker is getting hard to bear as Link pulls extra shifts at work, and helps his parents at the Chicory Inn.

All her life, Shayla Michaels has felt as if she straddled two worlds. Her mother's white family labeled her African American father with names Shayla didn't repeat in polite––well, in any company. Her father’s family disapproved as well, though they eventually embraced Shayla as their own. After the death of her mother, and her brother Jerry’s incarceration, life has left Shayla's father bitter, her niece, Portia, an orphan, and Shayla responsible for them all. She knows God loves them all, but why couldn't people accept each other for what was on the inside? For their hearts?

Everything changes one icy morning when a child runs into the street and Link nearly hits her with his pickup. Soon he is falling in love with the little girl’s aunt, Shayla, the beautiful woman who runs Coffee’s On, the bakery in Langhorne. Can Shayla and Link overcome society’s view of their differences and find true love? Is there hope of changing the sometimes-ugly world around them into something better for them all?

~*~
Buy Deborah's book, Home At Last: 

Amazon: bit.ly/2kvJ1HO
CBD: http://ow.ly/ooSH308H5aA
Abingdon Press: http://www.abingdonpress.com/deborah_raney

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Connect with Deborah:
Website - http://www.deborahraney.com
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/deborah.raney
Twitter - https://twitter.com/authordebraney
Blog - http://novelgarden.blogspot.com
Amazon Author page - http://amazon.com/author/deborahraney
Instagram - http://instagram.com/deborahraney
Pinterest - http://www.pinterest.com/deborahraney/
Goodreads - https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/59414.Deborah_Raney

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