Devotionals for the Heart: Jesus Christ paid for your sins so you can be free

Free from the Sins of my Youth
A devotional by Jessica Brodie

Have you ever had a nightmare that stayed with you?

My dream that night felt like reality. In it, I came face-to-face someone from my past, someone who had deeply wronged me, though in truth, I had wronged them as well. When I awakened, I couldn’t stop thinking about that time in my life, beating myself up for all the ways I had erred and gone astray. The “if onlys” swirled … if only I had chosen this instead of that or done that instead of this.

I struggled all morning, consumed by memories. One memory edged into the next, and soon I found myself going back over my life, all the way from my childhood until now, thinking about the mistakes I’d made over the years. Shame washed over me. Stones, large and small, accumulated. I felt like a piece of garbage as one by one I owned those mistakes, many of them long forgotten. After all, I had been willful—and haven’t we all?

I squeezed my eyes shut. There was nothing I could do about any of this now, in spite of my regret. All I could do was own up, acknowledge my wrongdoing, and apologize, though I knew nothing I could say would fix anything. God, I’m sorry, my soul cried out. Truly, I’m sorry.

The balm of God’s peace blanketed me. And in a flash, I remembered that extravagant, almost unbelievable truth: I’m covered! My mistakes are forgiven! Even if I do feel like a piece of garbage for having made those mistakes, in the eyes of God, I’m redeemed. And it’s all because of Jesus Christ—only because of Jesus. Because of Jesus, I’m washed clean. There’s no regret or repentance or sacrifice I can make strong or deep enough to apologize or make right any wrongs I’ve ever done in my life. It’s only because of Jesus that these wrongs are made right, that my sin-debt is paid. What mercy.

It’s the same for all of us. Perhaps you have experienced this, too, that weight of guilt and anguish when you remember certain ways you went wrong in the past. It doesn’t matter how “bad” it was, or how it stacks up when compared to others. Lying and selfishness are every bit as awful as murder in the eyes of the Lord, and one sin is just as horrible as twenty. When we finally get to that point of owning up and realizing how wrong we were, it’s like a knife to the chest. How could I have done that? Who was that person?

Yet we know the truth: No matter how bad, how wrong, or how ugly, Jesus washes us clean. Our belief and our repentance are the first step, but he’s the real savior.

Now, my heart is settled, for I know I’m forgiven. Even if I have a bad dream every night for the rest of my life, every day I have the chance to wake up and remember that beautiful truth all believers can experience: through Jesus, we’re forgiven.

But I ask you: Where are you with the weight of your own past sins? Are you worn down by pain and regret, beating yourself up? Or are you living the liberated and joyful life God has provided, free now to do all the wonderful things God has in store for you to bring about his kingdom here on earth? I hope it’s the latter.

It is OK to experience the occasional regret when you recall way that you went astray. We’re all human. But here’s the thing—Jesus tells us to pick up our cross and follow him (Matthew 16:24). Picking up our cross means embracing our struggles and temptations, our sins and our pain, and coming to Him anyway. It means walking on His path just we are at this very moment, in spite of it all, trusting He will make it right.

Just like that sinner who was crucified next to Jesus, who asked Jesus to remember him when he comes into his kingdom, Jesus says the same thing to us when we repent that he did to that man: “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise” (Luke 23:43 NIV).

This gift is echoed in God’s words to the prophet Isaiah in Isaiah 57:17-19: “‘I was enraged by their sinful greed; I punished them, and hid my face in anger, yet they kept on in their willful ways. I have seen their ways, but I will heal them; I will guide them and restore comfort to Israel’s mourners, creating praise on their lips. Peace, peace, to those far and near,’ says the Lord. ‘And I will heal them.’”

We can’t comprehend the extravagant love of God. We can try to, but knowing he gives us the chance to live with him in eternity simply for following Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior is truly inconceivable. It’s like winning the lottery, only a billion times better. We don’t have to understand how we got to be this lucky or beloved by God. We simply have to accept this gift, and in that gratitude help spread the good news so others receive this gift, too.

If you are struggling right now with memories of days gone by, things you’ve done or things done to you, perhaps now the time to experience freedom—the freedom that comes from setting these burdens down at the foot of the only one who can do anything about them, Jesus Christ. In Jesus we have liberation now and forever.

Let’s Pray: Lord, forgive me for all the ways I’ve done wrong, all my sins and shortcomings, all the ways I’ve hurt you—the things I remember and the things buried so deep I cannot remember. Thank you for your forgiveness and your love. Help me remember the words of Jesus to the sinful woman in John 8:11, “Neither do I condemn you … Go now and leave your life of sin.” I love you, Lord. Amen.

Song of Reflection: “Jesus Paid It All” by Kim Walker-Smith. Listen to it here.

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Author Bio:

Jessica Brodie is an award-winning Christian novelist, journalist, editor, blogger, and writing coach and the recipient of the 2018 American Christian Fiction Writers Genesis Award for her novel, The Memory Garden. 

She is also the editor of the South Carolina United Methodist Advocate, the oldest newspaper in Methodism. 

She released an Advent devotional for those seeking true closeness with God, which you can find at https://www.jessicabrodie.com/advent. Learn more about Jessica’s fiction and read her faith blog at http://jessicabrodie.com. She has a weekly YouTube devotional and podcast. 

You can also connect with her on Facebook, Twitter, and more. She’s also produced a free eBook, A God-Centered Life: 10 Faith-Based Practices When You’re Feeling Anxious, Grumpy, or Stressed.