Devotionals for the Heart: How to handle it when Christmastime hurts

When Christmas Hurts: Celebrating Through Loss and Change
A devotional by Jessica Brodie

“By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

—John 13:35 NIV

Turn on the radio or flip on the television, and it doesn’t take long to be reminded this is the happiest time of the year. Except …what if it’s not?

What if, in many ways, this is the hardest time of year for you?

I’ve always looked forward to Christmastime. As a kid, I remember being absolutely giddy with excitement, and it often had nothing to do with what was waiting under the Christmas tree. What caught me up was that glorious buzz of joyful energy from the loved ones all around me—all the laughing grown-ups excited to see each other, everyone dressed up in something festive, all the whispered secrets about gifts and hopes, spinning together to create what felt like a magical time.

Later, when I grew up and had my own kids, it was exciting just to watch them experience that Christmas joy for themselves—going to church, singing the hymns and lighting the candles, picking out gifts for each other. As the years have passed, though, my circle is slowly growing smaller. My grandparents have all passed away, as have my dad, my stepmom, and my favorite aunt. Beloved in-laws, too. My sister lives hours away, my uncle is clear across the country, and I can’t remember the last time I saw the cousin who used to be my best childhood friend.

Loved ones I used to see every holiday are now people I haven’t seen in ages. Two of our four kids are now off to college, and though they’ll be home for Christmas break, it’s different now that the kids are older. Everything feels different, smaller, slightly off-kilter. More subdued. I’m still joyful, still blessed. Yet the difference feels palpable somehow.

Maybe that’s you—maybe you normally love Christmastime, yet the pang of loss cuts deep right now. Maybe you’ve lost a spouse, children, siblings, or a close friend this year, and there’s little laughter this season. Every gleam of joy brings along with it a sharp and painful reminder of the one you’ve lost. Or perhaps you’re struggling with difficult health diagnosis, a broken relationship, financial catastrophe, or mental illness. Whatever it is, the holidays are hard for you, and you struggle to gain even a glimmer of cheer.

The truth is that despite the messages around us trying to tell us what Christmas is “supposed” to be and how we’re “supposed” to feel, the reality is that Christmas is none of those things. The expectations we’ve created around this time of year pale in comparison to the perfect truth about why we celebrate it in the first place. We celebrate Christmas because we celebrate the birth of our Savior (Jesus Christ) who is God in human form, word become flesh who lived, suffered, and then died as a sacrifice for our sins…only to rise again and lead us to eternal life (John 3:16).

And so—even as my heart sometimes aches for those I’ve lost this time of year, while all the songs on the radio tell me how things should be—what helps is remembering the real reason for the season. What helps is loving the ones who are around me now, even as I miss the ones who are no longer with me.

Loving the people in my world today is not only a way that I can claim joy in the season, but it’s also a way that I can honor the gift of Jesus Christ and the birth of my Savior. After all, Jesus told His disciples the world will know who they are—His—by their love for one another (John 13:35). Love really is the greatest truth of all and the most important thing to remember.

Wherever you are this holiday season—grieving and heartbroken, happy and content, or a little bit gloomy and cynical—remember this: Love is the one thing that carries on from Christmas to Christmas. The love of Jesus Christ for all of us, and the love we have for each other in His name.

If you’re struggling this year, can I pray for you? Reach out to me privately.

Let’s Pray: Lord, help me to remember the true reason we celebrate Christmas. It’s not the lights or the gifts or the celebrations but the fact that You came into this world, Emmanuel—God with us. You chose to live as a human, then suffer and die as a sacrifice so that we could join You in eternity. What a true gift that is. No matter what my feelings right now, please help me remember this. In Jesus’s Name I pray. Amen.

Song of Reflection #1: “We Are the Reason” by AVALON. Listen to it here.

Song of Reflection #2: “How Beautiful” by Twila Paris. Listen to it here.

~*~
Author Bio:

Jessica Brodie is an award-winning Christian novelist, journalist, editor, blogger, and writing coach. She is also the editor of the South Carolina United Methodist Advocate, the oldest newspaper in Methodism. 

Her two Christian contemporary novels, The Memory Garden and Tangled Roots, are Amazon bestsellers. Learn more about Jessica’s writing ministry and read her faith blog at http://jessicabrodie.com.

She has a YouTube devotional, and you can also connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, and more. She’s also produced a free eBook, A God-Centered Life: 10 Faith-Based Practices When You’re Feeling Anxious, Grumpy, or Stressed.