Devotionals for the Heart: When and how grief can be good for us

Good Grief
A devotional by Kayla de Jong

“Jesus wept.”

— John 11:35 (NIV)

What is grief? Some people would describe it as a dark night. But there is hope!

Russian novelist Fyodor Dostoevsky who was critically acclaimed as one of the greatest novelists in the literary world, once said, “The darker the night, the brighter the stars, the deeper the grief, the closer is God!”

After unexpectedly losing my mom when I was only 21, I found myself wrestling with God in my grief. Hopefully, the insights I have gained on my grief journey can benefit you as well, even if you are not grieving the loss of a loved one. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the definition of grief is “deep and poignant distress caused by or as if by bereavement.”

I’ve learned that grief is not just about death; it is about loss. Perhaps you are grieving losing a spouse through divorce or the lack of relationship with a child or the decision a friend made to stop following Jesus Christ. I believe grief is a good thing if done the way God intended. And knowing how to grieve in a godly way can not only help you grieve but also prepare you to walk with others in their grief journeys.

Let’s read Ecclesiastes 3:1-2 (NIV). It says, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot.”

Knowing that there is a season for everything—happiness and sadness—comforts my soul. I am comforted to know that God does not expect me to feel happy all the time. To me, these verses give Christians the permission to have what society deems “negative” emotions. While this is not a devotional about emotions, I will quickly say that I don’t think God views our emotions as good or bad. However, I think what matters to Him is how we handle them and how they affect our behaviors and relationship with Him and others (and ourselves). Ecclesiastes 3:4 supports this idea by declaring weeping and mourning appropriate for certain times. Notice how we are not instructed to always dance and laugh.

Another concept that has helped me understand grief from a biblical perspective is that God grieves too. And knowing that God expects me to manifest characteristics that are His, this means God expects me to grieve as well. Let’s talk this through: Jesus Christ wept on His way to raise His friend Lazarus from the dead, knowing fully well that Lazarus would soon be alive again. Yet He wept (John 11:35). Why? I believe He was not only showing His followers that it is okay to grieve, but I also love the footnote found in the Amplified version of The Holy Bible that suggests Jesus was angry at the sorrow induced by death.

Now let us look at biblical instruction on grief in 1 Thessalonians 4:13 (AMP), which reads, “Now we do not want you to be uninformed, believers, about those who are asleep [in death], so that you will not grieve [for them] as the others do who have no hope [beyond this present life].” In other words, Christians can grieve but not without hope. We know if we continue to follow Jesus Christ then we will be reunited in Heaven with our fellow Christians who have passed away and are no longer living on Earth. When we are in Heaven, we will be fully healed and holy in the Presence of God. Simply put, in the midst of our bereavement, we can choose to rejoice that God has provided a means to eternal life with Him that is far better than this life on Earth.

So, based on these few biblical examples, it seems that grief is an appropriate response to death. God, even though He is omniscient, and death is no surprise to Him, grieves too. However, it is clear that we are not to view death as “the end.” Instead, let it serve to remind you of eternity and salvation and hope from God.

Let’s Pray: God, thank You for giving me hope while I am grieving and let me share this with others who have lost someone or something important to them. Thank You for the time I had with my loved ones who have passed away. Help me to have a healthy perspective on grief. Thank You for comforting me, Lord, when I am sad. In Jesus’s Name I pray. Amen.

Song of Reflection: “Light of that City” by Allison Durham Speer. Listen to it here.

~*~
Author Bio:

Hi! I’m Kayla de Jong! 

I’ve lived in Indiana my whole life and was blessed to have been raised in a Christian household. I have an associate degree in library science and have worked in various libraries for over six years. I love reading and writing!

I have mostly written poems, some of which were published in the compiled works of a local writers guild. I am in the middle of seeking a new career. I would love to be an author, artist, or journalist. But most of all, I would love to be a stay-at-home mom someday.

~*~
Connect with Kayla:
E-mail: kaylagmcdaniel@gmail.com