Devotionals for the Heart: Why we need to learn how to forgive others

A Promise of Forgiveness
A devotional by Essie Faye Taylor

“For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” –Matthew 6:14-15 (KJV)

Many people advise married couples not to go to bed angry with one another. I understand the concept, but I wholeheartedly disagree.

Every bit of that disagreeable disposition could be seen as I rolled out of bed, cranky and sour-faced. I was angry with my husband, yet again. We had a disagreement the previous night. It wasn’t exactly his words that angered me, but it was his tone that had rubbed me the wrong way. I was angry. I hadn’t yet figured out how to move past my anger or even where it was coming from.

Not many people talk about the essentiality of forgiveness in our relationships. Marriage in particular requires a forgiving heart and cultivating the art of forgiveness. We have this promise from God: If we forgive others, He will forgive us. We all have experienced anger. We’ve all found ourselves in a place of hurt due to someone’s actions or words. We’ve felt the reality of the injustice we’ve experienced. We didn’t deserve to be hurt or mistreated, yet we were. Our feelings are real and valid. The situation is unfair and sometimes unwarranted. Yet, we must forgive. To forgive is to grant pardon or a remission of an offense. It is to cancel a debt or to cease to feel resentment against someone.

Forgiveness is not easy, yet God requires it of believers. Forgiveness can be challenging, yet it is possible. To forgive in a world that promotes revenge requires a paradigm shift. We must begin to think like our Heavenly Father (God). He has forgiven us for offending Him and He continues to do so because of His great love for us. He forgave us for living a life without Him, although He created us and provides for us daily. He granted us salvation upon request (John 3:16) and gave us access to Him by faith in the name of His Son who is our Savior (Jesus Christ). He has gone farther and has given us a new beginning by tossing our sins into the sea of forgetfulness, never to be remembered. What an incredible demonstration of His love!

In our text above, the disciple Matthew writes about God’s command to forgive.

I’m sure Matthew was speaking from experience as he was forgiven much. Before deciding to follow Jesus, Matthew was a tax collector who was known to cheat others out of their funds. Yet, Jesus chose him as a disciple when he was hated and rejected by others. He was forgiven and accepted, as are we when we are born into the family of God. As believers in God who follow Jesus Christ, we are required to forgive others because God forgave us. We are called to extend grace to others as God has extended grace toward us. If we forgive others, we will be forgiven by God. If we do not forgive others, we will not be forgiven by God. I don’t know about you, but to me, those consequences are pretty hefty. Choosing to forgive others is a no-brainer because I desperately need God’s forgiveness in my life. I’m imperfect and flawed. Many times I just don’t get things right and I value the promise of God’s forgiveness daily.

In letters to the church of Ephesus and Colossae, the Apostle Paul admonishes followers of Christ to forgive. He says, “And be ye kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you” (Ephesians 4:32 KJV). Paul encourages us with these words: “Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye” (Colossians 3:13 KJV). Forgiveness causes us to be tenderhearted and kind. We must remember that we make mistakes and at one time we needed forgiveness. Admitting that we will need forgiveness in the future also helps. Empathy and compassion helps along this journey to forgive. When you are hurt or angry, it is difficult to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, but practicing empathy can soften our hearts so that we can forgive.

God teaches several lessons regarding forgiveness. Forgiving others frees you from the burden of anger and resentment. It releases the debtor and the one to whom the debt is owed. Forgiveness doesn’t have to be earned; it is freely given. Learning to forgive is a skill that must be practiced. All have fallen short of God’s requirements. Therefore, we all need to be forgiven at one time or another.

God grants forgiveness as a promise. He says, if we confess our sins, He is faithful to forgive our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). No matter the sin–great or small–God is willing and ready to forgive, if we confess it.

Call to Action:

1. Check yourself. When you harbor unforgiveness, search yourself to discover what is at the root of your feelings and actions.

2. Practice empathy. Try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and see things his or her way.

3. Practice forgiveness daily in your relationships. Learn to forgive quickly, even when it’s not the easiest. Free others of their debt and free yourself of anger, resentment, bitterness and hurt. Remember, the Bible says if we forgive others, God will forgive us.

4. Be conscious of your mortality. Realize that as humans, we make mistakes. This means that you and I will inevitably make a mistake and we will need to be forgiven.

5. Remember, our God is faithful to forgive us. Let us be faithful to forgive others.

Let’s Pray:
Heavenly Father, I thank You for your gift of forgiveness. Thank You for forgiving my sins and embracing me with great love. Thank You for loving me despite my flaws and shortcomings. Thank You for your love that covers a multitude of faults. Help me to forgive those who have hurt me deeply. Help me to practice empathy and have compassion so that I can forgive the hard things. Lord, heal my heart, my mind, and my memory from the words and actions that hurt me so deeply. Give us the strength to forgive as you command. Thank You, Father, for hearing and answering me. In the name of Jesus I pray. Amen.

Song of Reflection: “Forgiveness” by Matthew West. Listen to it here.

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Author Bio:

Essie Taylor is an author, educator, minister, youth advocate, recording artist, podcaster, and improviser. She earned a Bachelor of Arts from Northwestern University and a Master of Arts in Teaching from Rockford College. 

She is a veteran educator of Bilingual Education, English as a Second Language, and Spanish Language Acquisition with National Board Teacher Certification. She is an advocate of lifelong learning, language learning, and multiculturalism.

Essie is the CEO of KenMar Press, an author agency, and The Essie Faye Collection. Essie is the author of Finding the Love You Deserve: 30 Lessons in Self-Love & Acceptance, and Finding The Love Your Deserve: A 60-Day Healing Journal For Women of Faith.

She is deeply committed to motivating minorities, women, and youth to pursue God while chasing their dreams and carving out their life’s path. She loves God, people, and helping others.

Essie has been a Christian for nearly all of her 39 years. She was born again at 15 years old. She has been a bilingual worship leader and interpreter for 10+ years. By the grace of God, Essie helped to establish bilingual ministries at five churches in her young life. She is a survivor of domestic violence (verbal and emotional abuse) and marital abandonment in a prior marriage.

Essie is a Chicago native. She lives in Chicago with her husband Donald Taylor II.

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Connect with Essie:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_essie_faye/
Website: www.essiefayetaylor.com