Devotionals for the Heart: Hope for your heart when you feel alone

When You Feel Alone
A devotional by Joy Beless

“Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart are enlarged; bring me out of my distresses. Consider my affliction and my trouble, and forgive all my sins.”—Psalm 25:16-18 (ESV)

Everyone feels lonely at some time in their life.

One of the loneliest seasons of my life was when I moved to the most populated city in the world. Surrounded by bustling crowds, everywhere I went seemed to amplify my loneliness. No one knew my name and I did not know theirs.

Loneliness can sneak up on us in the midst of transitions. Some transitions are physical, such as moving into different communities and churches. Transitions in life’s seasons can also generate feelings of loneliness, such as adult children leaving their home, the breakup of a close relationship, or the death of a loved one. Loneliness is a part of life and an emotion that blankets us without invitation.

According to a 2024 poll by the American Psychiatric Association, “30% of adults have felt lonely at least once a week and 10% say they are lonely every day.” Loneliness sneaks up on us when we do not feel emotionally or socially connected to others—even in their physical presence such as with roommates or a marriage—as well as when we are alone. With the prevalence of working remotely, watching church services online, and family units spread throughout different cities, community and emotional connectedness can be difficult to cultivate and maintain.

The times when I feel lonely and disconnected from others emotionally—and sometimes physically—God meets me in this place of despair. Like King David in the Psalms, we can pour out our hearts to God naming and identifying the specific emotions we are experiencing. The lament of David in Psalm 25 gives the example of naming the troubles of our hearts and offering them to God to carry our burdens. In Psalm 25:1-3, David names these words to describe what he is feeling and facing: lonely, afflicted, troubles, distresses, and sins. We can learn a lesson from this psalm: Our “aloneness” can be an invitation to seek God deeply and honestly. An intimate conversational prayer with God is similar to Psalm 62:8 (NIV) that reads, “Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.”

As we sort out the specifics of our circumstances that contribute to our feelings of loneliness, consider how God can be our refuge. Rather than allowing negative self-talk to cycle through our thoughts, we can picture ourselves curled up safe with God in His arms. We must remember that He is our shelter (Psalm 91:1). As we listen to God, is He guiding us to a truth about our situation or an action to take in our circumstances? Is there a place of wounding God desires to be present with us and bring healing? Perhaps the name of a person surfaces in this sacred space so that we can reach out and talk through what seems to be a wound or hurt in this time of need.

I remember praying to find a heart friend, day after day. I decided to pray “big” for a friend within walking distance of this big foreign-to-me city. At the same time, another woman was also praying the same prayer, and through circumstances, we reached out to each other. Not allowing our different nationalities to stand in the way, we became lifelong friends and sisters-in-Christ. Paul encourages us through the letter to the church in Corinth, “He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us (2 Corinthians 1:4 NLT).”

Aloneness is an opportunity to look to the Triune God: Our Heavenly Father (God) who created us in his image, Jesus Christ (God’s Son and our Savior), and the Holy Spirit (our counselor and guide). We can see God as the Lover of our soul, our Comforter, and the Giver of peace.

Remember what God says to us in Hebrews 13:5b (ESV): “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” He is with us and present, even in times of loneliness.

Let’s Pray:

Heavenly Father,

Thank You for understanding the emotion of loneliness and our need for the scriptures that point us to Your heart of compassion and love. We are grateful You are our place of refuge and comfort. As our society becomes increasingly digitalized, show us how to remain connected to one another as the Body of Christ. Give us the courage to reach out to others who also are struggling with loneliness.

In Jesus’s Name I pray. Amen.

Song of Reflection: “You’re Not Alone” by Meredith Andrews. Listen to it here.

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Author Bio:

Joy Beless is a worshipper of God and lover of people. 

A practicing Spiritual Director, she is a speaker for retreats and conferences and facilitates guided solitude retreats at the family ranch in North Texas.

A seasoned worship leader and songwriter, she frequently weaves worship, God’s Word and spiritual practices together. She is a chapel provider for a shelter for the houseless and a certified Grief and Trauma Healing Facilitator. Serving at global retreats for Kingdom-minded women delights her soul.

She has written for Global Trellis and Missio Nexus. She connects God’s Word with the reality of our daily in all the ups and downs.

Joy is married to Roger. They live in Coppell (Texas). Joy is called "JoJo" by her nine adorable grandchildren. She enjoys the outdoors and encourages flowers to grow in the Texas heat.

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Connect with Joy:
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Website: www.joybeless.org